Old-fashioned Advice A look back at the marriage advice of the 1950s and its surprising relevance today.
A 1958 magazine offered over 100 tips to women on how to catch a husband.
- A 1958 guide from McCall’s Magazine gave women over 100 tips on finding a husband.
- The advice ranged from practical to demeaning, reflecting the social norms of the time.
- Some of these strategies, though modernized, still linger in today’s dating landscape.
- The era’s emphasis on marriage highlights the limited roles for women.
In the 1950s, a time when being “the wife of” was a social imperative, McCall’s Magazine published a guide with over one hundred points on how to find a husband; **were these tips reflective of the pressures on women to marry during the mid-20th century?** The guide reveals some startling, and sometimes contradictory, advice for women seeking matrimony.
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<img src="https://static.alfemminile.com/images/2025/07/04/125338423-943aacd9-3377-4b80-8be3-f25146f4b715.jpg" class="lazyload" width="1280" height="720" alt="One hundred tips to find husband in a 1958 magazine: be unwary, it is still (perhaps) today"/>
<noscript><a href=""><img src="https://static.alfemminile.com/images/2025/07/04/125338423-943aacd9-3377-4b80-8be3-f25146f4b715.jpg" width="1280" height="720" alt="One hundred tips to find husband in a 1958 magazine: be unwary, it is still (perhaps) today"/></a></noscript><figcaption>One hundred tips to find husband in a 1958 magazine: "Be sproved", it is still (perhaps) today
</figcaption>Contradictory Advice for the Modern Woman
The guide included conflicting suggestions. On one hand, women were advised to work as secretaries in university faculties like medicine or law to find a potential husband. On the other, they were cautioned against appearing psychologically autonomous to secure a mate.
Tips from the Guide
The list contained some truly remarkable pieces of advice. Here are a few examples:
- “Consult the censuses to find the places with the greatest number of single men. Nevada has 125 men per 100 women.”
- “Find a job as an employee for the presentation of fishing equipment in a sporting goods shop.”
- “Let him note that the mortality rate of single men is double that of married men.” (This remains statistically true today.)
- “Produce and sell wigs: balding men are easy prey!”
Other suggestions included finding work in medicine, dentistry, or law faculties, reading obituaries to find widowers, and avoiding companies managed primarily by women. Perhaps the most startling: “Put yourself in a corner and cry softly: there is a good chance that he comes to find out what’s wrong.” The implied strategy was to position oneself where successful men could be found and then to act helpless.
Echoes in Today’s World
These “essays,” as they were called, advocated targeting locations with high concentrations of men and high salaries. The concept of “trad wives” or gold diggers suggests that the underlying message hasn’t entirely disappeared between the 1950s and 2025. While “attending places where interesting men end” might now be termed “professional targeting” or “networking,” the essence remains similar.
The Golden Facade
The 1950s are often remembered as a golden age, filled with bright advertising, perfectly styled dresses, and idyllic families. Yet, behind this “bourgeois dream” in both America and Italy, women’s roles were frequently confined by rigid social and cultural norms that seemed inherent and unchangeable.
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</section>Post-War Expectations
In the U.S., the post-war era saw women pushed from factories back into the kitchen. While they had joined the workforce during World War II, donning work suits and earning national praise, peace brought a new domestic order: men worked, and women took care of the home.
Advertisements and magazines idealized the housewife – a smiling woman devoted to her husband and children, finding fulfillment in the perfect Sunday roast and polished floors. Popular psychology even labeled discontent as “empty nest syndrome” or “female frustration,” suggesting that a new lipstick or washing machine could cure it.
Italian Parallels
Italian women played a critical role during the war as partisans, nurses, and factory workers. In 1946, they gained the right to vote. However, the promise of equality was short-lived. The 1950s saw the rise of the “exemplary mother and wife” as the dominant ideal. Marriage was seen as the only “serious” path for a woman, and working outside the home was often viewed as an economic failure or a morally questionable choice.
Working women were regarded with suspicion. If they didn’t care for the house, who would? If they had no children, what was their purpose? Religion played a vital role, with the parish priest often serving as the moral authority of the community.
Modern Echoes of Outdated Advice
The 1958 guide suggested women be shy, patient, unwary, and even stumble in front of potential suitors. One tip advised women to feign injury to attract attention. While it’s easy to mock these suggestions, especially given the stigma surrounding single women at the time, it’s more valuable to examine how certain dynamics persist.
The idea that women should strategically attract men, moderating their independence to avoid intimidation and appearing accommodating without being overly assertive, remains prevalent. This isn’t about individual intelligence or dignity, but about the fact that many grow up within a cultural system that often ties female value to the ability to please.
While recognizing this societal influence shouldn’t be an excuse, it’s crucial to acknowledge its impact. Even if no one explicitly teaches women to “fall gracefully” or search obituaries for widowers, many still hesitate to pursue their goals for fear of being unchosen. Today, it’s essential to understand and challenge these ingrained behaviors.
