The Yearning Revolution: Why Female Desire is Finally Taking Center Stage
A cultural shift is underway, challenging the long-held narrative that women should be the objects of desire, not the drivers of it. After decades of being told to embody beauty and mystique to attract yearning, a growing chorus is celebrating the power and freedom of experiencing it – and 2025 proved to be a watershed year in this evolution.
For many, the expectation to be perpetually desired felt suffocating. As one observer noted, the prevailing message was that a woman’s worth lay in inspiring “romance of the deepest, most disruptive, most consuming degree.” This expectation, however, often clashed with reality. Many women found themselves feeling “cute,” “funny,” and “smart,” but not possessing the perceived magnetism to ignite a passionate response. This disconnect led to a sense of defeat, a feeling of failing at a prescribed “feminine wiles” performance.
But the tide began to turn this year, fueled by a resurgence of “crush culture” and a growing recognition that yearning isn’t solely a male experience. Characters like “Yearnrad” Fisher from “The Summer I Turned Pretty” and Jonathan Bailey’s portrayal in “Bridgerton” – who himself emphasized the importance of “shamelessly show[ing]” yearning – dominated the cultural conversation. Even the world of sports contributed, with the “Heated Rivalry” between hockey players captivating audiences with its charged dynamic.
Despite this surge in depictions of desire, the face of yearning remained largely male in 2025. While breakup albums from artists like Lily Allen and Sabrina Carpenter explored lost love, they often leaned into anger and spite rather than longing. Even Elphaba’s yearning for Fiyero in “Wicked: For Good” faced criticism for not being “spicy” enough.
However, a breakthrough arrived with Chappell Roan’s “The Subway” music video. This four-minute and 31-second visual masterpiece offered a “pure, agonizing example of female yearning,” depicting a woman fearlessly embracing her heartache and hope as she searches for a lost love in the streets of New York. The video resonated deeply, offering a powerful counter-narrative to the expectation of being the desired, not the desirer.
This single piece of art proved transformative for many, offering a “bandage up a part of me that felt terminally inferior for failing at the doe-eyed ingénue schtick.” It sparked a realization: there is liberation in yearning. It’s not a weakness, but a “powerful manifestation of the female gaze.” Yearning, it turns out, belongs to women. It’s not simply “I think you’re hot,” but “I’m lusting after you. I’m fantasizing about building a life with you.” It can be both “demure, and…feral.”
Looking ahead to 2026, there’s a growing demand for more stories that center female yearning. A desire exists to see more women “failing to get noticed,” experiencing unrequited crushes, and openly expressing their longing – not just for romantic interests, but for friendships, careers, and a better world. These stories are “interesting and real and full,” and deserve to be told. And, hopefully, occasionally, those women will get what they so fiercely hope for.
Too often, female characters in pop culture are presented as already “complete, already perfect,” lacking the messy humanity that makes them relatable. The narrative frequently centers on a man’s journey to win a woman’s affection, rather than exploring her own desires and vulnerabilities. As a lifelong yearner, embracing imperfection is a relief. It’s empowering to acknowledge that sometimes, “I will be the loser, I will be the overlooked one.” To desire – not just be the object of it – is profoundly empowering, even when it hurts.
Emma Glassman-Hughes (she/her) is the associate editor at PS Balance. In her seven years as a reporter, her beats have spanned the lifestyle spectrum; she’s covered arts and culture for The Boston Globe, sex and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and food, climate, and farming for Ambrook Research.
