Almost a year ago, the startup specialized in safe digital content in English for children, Lingokids, published a study carried out on 800 families in Spain. The results revealed that half of the Spanish children up to 8 years old, that is, the 48% have their own tablet and 1 in 4 have their own mobile.
Regarding the usage time, a 40% use them daily, 24% use them more than three days a week, 21% only on weekends and 15% say they only use them occasionally. On the day they use them, half (49%) extend their use between 1 and 2 hours, 26% spend less than an hour and 1 in 4 spend more than 2 hours on electronic devices.
Likewise, many Spanish families have identified an increase in the time of use as a result of the pandemic: 6 out of 10 parents say that during the confinement they accepted that their children use their devices more and later that routine has been established as normal.
The question would be: how much technology and social networks affect family relationships? Are children and adolescents becoming human beings with less social skills? Are parents too consenting in the use of new technologies? According to the latest barometer from the International Institute for Family Studies ‘The Family Watch’ commissioned by the consulting firm GAD3, it pointed out that 62.5% of Spaniards believe that there is now less communication between family members than a decade ago.
We talked about all this Vincent Ginés, specialist in the resolution of family conflicts. Ginés has also been a primary school teacher, has advanced studies in mediation and has published several books in recent years, including Mediation From Zero and Star Families.
Just a few days ago we opened our Christmas gifts and probably in many homes the Three Wise Men and Santa Claus have rewarded children/adolescents with some technological present: tablets, digital watches, mobile phones… Are we more and more abusing parents of this type of gift? ? And above all, are we too consenting in its use?Giving screens is easy. Every child wants it because it’s in advertising over and over again, all adults use it and all their peers either have it or want it. Therefore, giving away technology is a guaranteed success. Now, it opens up a big melon of problems. Technology is created to be addictive, there is a great business behind it and the more it is used, the more money it moves, so the interests of those who create it are that more and more is consumed.
The problem is that an addiction to technology has an impact on the well-being of any person and, do not doubt it, the less maturity, the greater the impact. Therefore, if its use is not managed and the children consume what they want, the first symptoms that something is not right will soon appear. Such as academic problems, challenges to authority, attention problems, apathy, low self-esteem… So yes, I would look for an alternative to giving away technology to promote another type of leisure and, without a doubt, we must be very aware of how we are managing its use at home.
An addiction to technology impacts the well-being of any person and the less maturity, the greater the impact.
How should parents manage the responsible use that the little ones make of these devices?Under a radical premise, the less the better. A small child should not be exposed to any screen and if they are, the less the better. Technology would be like caffeine, would you give caffeine to a child? No, right? We all have it clear. Technology impacts the child’s brain by overstimulating it and making life taste like little afterward. As it grows, we will increase the use of technology, but always with a purpose, not mere entertainment, and if it is only for entertainment, not as a right, but as a privilege for their behavior.
I always tell teenagers: every level you go up in a video game is one less level you go up in your life
Other families, however, prioritize ‘zero contact’ with technology. Do you think it’s a good idea or a trend that is unrelated to reality?If they are small, yes. Without a doubt, ‘zero contact’ is highly recommended. It is not about demonizing technology, obviously it is here to stay, but we must be aware of the impact it has on the development of our children. ‘Zero contact’ can be a real alternative to the social pressure of the abuse of technology.
The key is not to eliminate them from life, but to learn how to use them responsibly, both small and old. The problem is that the vast majority of adults are so hooked on technology that claiming ‘zero contact’ for their children seems impossible. Children are growing up in a technological society, let’s not be in a hurry to get them on board. The more time they spend in real life, the better, virtual life should only be the alternative, not the main one.
I always tell teenagers: “every level you go up in a video game is the level less you go up in your life” there are young people who know perfectly how to relate through the screen, but then they don’t dare to look you in the eye.
The problem is not that the technology exists, it is that it is preventing other skills from being developed.
It is said that the new generations no longer use their mobile phones to talk, they only chat. Statistics say that 97% of young people barely speak on the phone. How can this harm them when it comes to relating to their peers and to society in general?The situation is really serious. On the one hand, because the problem is not that the technology exists, it is that it is preventing other skills from developing, such as social skills, emotional management, conflict resolution or frustration tolerance. Technology is not going to disappear, but without a doubt, the need to compensate for the deficiencies that it is leaving behind is becoming more and more urgent.
To the parents that I accompany, I always remind them of the difference between a mobile and a smartphone. A cell phone makes calls and sends text messages, yes like my grandmother’s. A smartphone is a miniature computer. Do you want to have your child communicated? Give him a mobile. Is he developing his personal skills to know how to manage the use of a smartphone? Let him gradually earn it.
Do you think that the use and abuse of social networks could paradoxically cause us to become more ‘asocial’ or cold in our way of relating in the not too distant future?Of course, and that virtual reality has not yet reached homes en masse, but we are moving towards it. I believe that society will polarize, on the one hand, there will be those who live glued to a screen and who will have great deficiencies when it comes to knowing how to relate to others. Unfortunately for us, I think they will be the vast majority of people. On the other hand, there will be a group of rebellious people who will continue to claim the value of looking into each other’s eyes. Hopefully I’m wrong.