“We’re not sad, are we? Birthdays are beautiful. » The mother tenderly caresses her child’s face. Soon, his “big boy” will be 51 years old. At the thought of this extra year, her son’s eyes swelled with tears. In any case, that’s what his mother thought he saw. Since « l’accident », in 2008, Alexandre lives lying on a hospital bed. He breathes on his own but no longer speaks, hardly moves. “Persistent vegetative state”, that’s what the doctors said after his stroke.
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That day, Alexandre had arrived tired at his brother David’s. They had dinner. An evening “classic” as they used to spend together. The last. The next day, Alexandre passed out in his brother’s arms.
Perceive the slightest sign
For his father and his three brothers, Alexandre is no longer there. His body yes, but not him, not his consciousness. Her mother is convinced otherwise. “He understands what we are saying. He has the pain, he has the feelings, she says. That’s why she comes to see him every day in the hospital, patiently explaining to him how to stack cubes, showing him picture books with houses, flowers and cars. all the colours. Like when he was little.
“Where is the car, do you see the car? Show me the car. » Alexandre does not answer, but his mother is not discouraged. Over time, she learned to perceive the slightest sign sent by her son and to rejoice in the smallest progress. “I believe in life. You should never give up”she said, staring at Ivan Le Goff’s camera.
The silence of the family
Ivan Le Goff is not just any director: he is Alexandre’s little brother. His film, The Embrace (1), does not really talk about his eldest, whose face we will never see. He talks above all about his family, and the silence in which everyone has retreated for years, sucked in by grief. Alexandre has become a taboo subject. Too many arguments between those who say there is no more hope and those who think that a miracle is always possible. Too much sadness for everyone.
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“Under the pretext that Alexandre no longer speaks, no one speaks to each other anymore”, regrets the director, who decided to break the taboo by confronting his family with angry subjects: would it have been better for Alexandre to die rather than live? ” like that “ ? Who will take care of him when his mom is gone? If the law allowed it, would they choose to “stop everything” ? And above all, what would he have wanted? No militancy here, only a mother, a father and brothers who are looking deep inside for answers, and above all for reasons to hope.
Under the eye of the youngest, the family dialogue is gradually recreated. Everyone agrees to come out of their silence. Including the director himself who, for the first time in ten years, manages to establish a form of communication with his brother. Until then, Ivan hardly dared to lay eyes on Alexander, he did not speak to him. “You always turned your back on him”, observes his mother, happy with the rapprochement that is taking shape. While filming his brother, Ivan Le Goff began to see him. This beautiful film also signs their reunion.