The grief was palpable at TPU Mangun Jaya in Tambun, Bekasi, on Friday as family and friends laid to rest Siti Sundari, the mother of Indonesian singer-songwriter Anji. Beyond the solemnity of the funeral procession, a particularly poignant moment unfolded as Anji comforted his son, Saga, who was witnessing the loss of his grandmother for the first time. The passing of Siti Sundari has resonated deeply within the family, revealing a bond strengthened by shared birthdays and a lifetime of cherished memories.
Anji, whose full name is Anji Drive, shared that Saga had been with him from the moment he received the news. They were, in fact, in the midst of recording a new song together when the call came. “When I was told about Mama… it wasn’t that she wasn’t there, she just didn’t want to wake up, I was recording with Saga at home,” Anji recounted, as reported by Detik.com. “We were testing out his new song. That’s why I rushed over, and Saga followed, asking ‘What’s wrong with Manji? What’s wrong with Uti?’” (Uti is an affectionate term for grandmother in Indonesian).
A First Encounter with Loss
The experience marked Saga’s first direct confrontation with grief and the finality of death. Anji emphasized the significance of this moment, recognizing the need to guide his son through the complex emotions that accompany such a loss. He understood the importance of allowing Saga to process his feelings while also offering a framework for understanding the natural cycle of life.
What adds another layer of depth to this loss is the unique connection Anji shared with his mother and son: they all celebrated their birthdays on the same day. This annual tradition, a source of joy and togetherness, will now be marked by a bittersweet absence. Wina Natalia, Anji’s former wife, highlighted the special significance of Saga’s birth, describing him as a gift for both Anji and his mother. “When I gave birth, it was a gift for Mama, and Manji. Saga was their gift,” she said.
The realization of this change is particularly acute for Saga. “Saga remembers that from this year on, we’ll only celebrate our birthdays together, just the two of us, not three anymore,” Anji explained, acknowledging the shift in their family dynamic.
Whispered Comfort and a Lesson in Life’s Cycle
Amidst the sadness, Anji focused on providing strength and reassurance to his son. During the funeral procession, he leaned down and whispered a message to Saga, a moment that resonated with raw emotion and profound wisdom. “He was recording, he was recording and he was also saying he was sad. But he should learn something from this. I also told him that this will definitely happen,” Anji shared.
The message, as Anji revealed, was a preparation for the inevitable. “And I also said, ‘Later, Manji will be like this too.’ And if Manji leaves this world before you, if Manji goes first, Manji will be there,’” he recounted, offering a glimpse into his attempt to frame death not as an ending, but as a transition.
While Saga appeared to be trying to remain strong, Anji admitted he couldn’t fully realize what his son was feeling internally. When asked directly about his emotions, Saga simply responded, “Sedih banget” – “Exceptionally sad” in Indonesian.
Cherished Memories of ‘Uti’
Saga also fondly remembered his close relationship with his grandmother, recalling childhood memories of celebrating birthdays together and visiting her in Bekasi. “My memories are that since I was little, I’ve been close to Uti. We celebrated birthdays together, I often visited Bekasi,” Saga said.
Anji added that this closeness was evident in their everyday interactions, recalling how his mother enjoyed giving Saga massages. He also noted the poignant timing of her passing, occurring while Saga was actively pursuing his own musical endeavors. “She loved giving massages. And yesterday, when Uti passed away, you were recording your new song,” Anji said.
The loss of Siti Sundari is a deeply personal one for Anji and his family, a reminder of the fragility of life and the enduring power of familial bonds. The shared birthday tradition, now altered, serves as a poignant symbol of the void left behind, but also of the enduring love that will continue to connect them. The experience, while heartbreaking, also underscores the importance of open communication and emotional support, particularly for young children navigating the complexities of grief and loss. The story of Anji and Saga offers a glimpse into the universal experience of mourning and the enduring strength of the parent-child relationship in the face of adversity.
As Anji and Saga navigate this demanding time, the focus will undoubtedly be on honoring Siti Sundari’s memory and continuing to support each other. The release of Saga’s new song, begun with his grandmother’s presence, will likely serve as a further tribute to her life and legacy. Updates on Anji’s and Saga’s activities can be found through Anji’s official Instagram account, @anjidrive.
If you are struggling with grief or loss, resources are available. The National Alliance for Children’s Grief offers support and information for children and families dealing with bereavement: https://childrengrieve.org/. You are not alone.
