Broadcaster’s Battle Plan: Inside the Extreme Cold Prevention Regime of a Mezzo-Soprano
As winter descends, a broadcaster details his adoption of a rigorous cold prevention strategy learned from a surprising source: a professional singer preparing for a busy holiday season.
The arrival of deep midwinter always brings with it a familiar dread. Last year, the anxieties began even before the season officially started, following a crowded 60th birthday celebration in Surrey. “Half the people at the party were players in a symphony of coughs, sneezes, snuffles and nose-blows,” one attendee recalled, prompting a contemplation of the elusive art of avoiding the common cold.
The question of cold prevention took on new urgency after a chance encounter with a trio of performers – a rapper of Ghanaian heritage, a prominent pop star, and a renowned mezzo-soprano – while on a television program. The broadcaster quickly discovered he wasn’t alone in his concern. The singers, for whom vocal health is paramount, were deeply invested in preventative measures. “They shrunk away from me slightly,” he noted, suggesting a cautious distance from a potential source of illness.
However, it was the mezzo-soprano who truly captivated his attention with her unwavering commitment to staying healthy. With crucial performances scheduled throughout the Christmas season, she approached cold prevention with a level of dedication bordering on the extreme. The broadcaster, who has experienced particularly debilitating colds in the past, found himself a willing convert. He described his own experience with illness as uniquely severe, stating, “My colds last longer. My nose is more blocked, my throat is scratchier, my coughing fits are louder, barkier and apparently endless.”
Past professional experiences only reinforced the need for vigilance. During his time presenting football on ITV, his colleagues in the studio gallery had become adept at recognizing the early warning signs of his impending illness. “’Cans off!’ the studio director would holler to his team, before I deafened them all, blowing the wiring in their headphones,” he recounted.
The broadcaster’s search for effective remedies had previously led him down a path of conventional and unconventional treatments, from nasal sprays and drops to his mother’s unusual prescription of boiling plum brandy fumes. He even recalled a well-intentioned, but ultimately ineffective, attempt at a cure involving a raw onion offered by a cleaner at university. “She stood and watched me do so. Bless her. Didn’t achieve anything, I’m afraid, apart from sending my guts into raptures and making my breath smell terrible.”
Ultimately, it was the mezzo-soprano’s regime that proved successful. Her protocol centered around relentless hygiene, commanding hourly applications of hand sanitiser throughout the winter. But the truly striking element was her pre- and post-party nasal defense: “a couple of blasts of Vicks First Defence (other brands are available) up each nostril – whether you felt a cold coming or not.” She insisted on repeating the treatment after any social engagement.
The broadcaster embraced the strategy wholeheartedly. “I was in,” he declared, and the results were immediate. He reported remaining completely cold-free throughout the entire last winter. While acknowledging the minor inconveniences – the constant purchasing and misplacing of nasal spray, the occasional accidental squirt of hand gel – he deemed the price well worth paying.
Now, with winter once again upon us, he is fully prepared. “I’m re-armed to the teeth with the mezzo-soprano’s recommended ordnance. I’m ready for battle.” Adrian Chiles, the broadcaster, writer, and Guardian columnist, stands fortified, a testament to the power of a singer’s preventative wisdom.
