The Urgent Human Need to Matter: A New Beliefs of Flourishing
Rebecca Newberger Goldstein’s new book, The Mattering Instinct, offers a compelling exploration of the fundamental human drive to find meaning and importance, arguing that this quest isn’t a quirk of modern life but a deeply ingrained biological imperative. The book, born in part from the author’s own near-fatal cardiac arrest, delves into why we relentlessly seek justification for our existence, even in the face of life’s inherent uncertainties.
Goldstein asserts that we are “creatures of matter who long to matter,” a paradox at the heart of the human condition. We are, she explains, physical beings subject to the indifferent laws of nature, yet consumed by an obsession with our own importance. this isn’t merely a philosophical indulgence, but a “missing piece in the puzzle of understanding ourselves, one another, and our troubled times.”
Her analysis centers on an unexpected concept: the second law of thermodynamics, and the principle of entropy – the inevitable slide from order into chaos. Entropy explains why everything decays, from buildings to relationships to the human body.life, in this framework, becomes a defiant, temporary act against this universal force. Every living organism, goldstein writes, is engaged in a “ceaseless struggle against entropy.”
Goldstein, building on a “mattering map” first developed in her 1983 novel The Mind-Body Problem, categorizes how this struggle manifests in different individuals. She identifies archetypes like the “heroic striver,” driven by achievement; the “transcender,” seeking meaning through spirituality; the “competitor,” motivated by dominance; and the “socializer,” finding purpose through connection with others. The author self-identifies as a heroic striver, a tendency she wryly suggests contributed to her health crisis brought on by obsessive exercise.
This resistance to entropy, Goldstein argues, is rooted in self-mattering – a primitive, biological imperative programmed into our very genes. “Biology’s response to the supreme law of physics,” she writes, “is what makes self-mattering deeper than any instinct, making it, rather, the organizing principle behind all the instincts.” Our genes, if they could speak, would be relentless cheerleaders, constantly urging us forward with assurances of our specialness.
However, the uniquely human element arises when we reflect on this instinct. This self-awareness transforms us into Homo iustificans – the creature who needs a reason. As philosopher Thomas Nagel observed, our capacity for self-reflection reveals a dissonance between our biological drive to survive and the inevitability of death. This realization sparks “the mother of all mattering questions-Do I matter?” A purely biological sense of importance is no longer sufficient; we crave objective validation. “We need to convince ourselves that our own self-mattering is warranted,” Goldstein writes, “We long to demonstrate that the reason we subjectively feel that we matter is that we objectively do.” This desire is the mattering instinct.
Goldstein’s pivotal philosophical claim is that our inherent dignity doesn’t stem from a mystical essence, but from this very struggle to justify our existence. She reframes the story of eden, suggesting that expulsion wasn’t a fall from grace, but a step into humanity – the moment we became “values-seeking creatures.” While others have explored the quest for meaning, Goldstein positions it as a fundamental, overriding instinct, even when our attempts are flawed.
With the “mattering instinct” established, Goldstein redefines the goal of a well-lived life, moving beyond the modern obsession with happiness, which she characterizes as a fleeting “surge of neurotransmitters.” Rather, she advocates for eudaimonia – a deep, reflective sense of living well, a concept rooted in Aristotelian philosophy. eudaimonia, she emphasizes, “is not found in amusement; for it would be absurd if the end were amusement, and our lifelong efforts and suffering aimed at amusing ourselves.” True flourishing lies in feeling that one’s life is significant,both personally and to others.
Crucially, Goldstein acknowledges that eudaimonia often coexists with suffering. She illustrates this point with the example of Ludwig Wittgenstein, who, despite constant mental anguish, proclaimed on his deathbed, “Tell them I’ve had a marvelous life.” This wasn’t a statement about happiness, goldstein contends, but about eudaimonia – a life ferociously engaged in a meaningful project: developing a rigorous philosophical system to understand the limits of language and thought.
Similarly, she examines the existential crisis experienced by William James, an American philosopher who, in a moment of profound despair, felt his sense of self collapse. James recovered by choosing to believe in his “individual reality and creative power,” a decision that profoundly impacted the fields of psychology, pragmatism, and theology. Both Wittgenstein and James, Goldstein argues, found purpose through dedicated engagement with projects that gave their lives coherence, even amidst immense personal struggle.
Not all “mattering projects” are created equal, as Goldstein demonstrates through the story of Frank Meeink, a former white supremacist. Meeink’s descent into extremism stemmed from a desperate need to escape feelings of worthlessness and victimhood, finding a perverse sense of belonging in a hateful ideology. His transformation came through connection with Black inmates while incarcerated and, later, through the unconditional respect of a Jewish employer, ultimately leading him to dedicate his life to fighting extremism.
If the mattering instinct originates in resisting entropy,Goldstein proposes,then “getting mattering right” involves aligning with counter-entropy – increasing “the spread of flourishing,knowledge,love,joyfulness,peace,kindness,comity,beauty.” A life lived wrongly, conversely, accelerates chaos, cruelty, and dissolution. “People’s effects on entropy,” she states, “provide the best overarching means I know to assess their lives.”
This vision is powerfully embodied in the story of Lou Xiaoying, an impoverished Chinese woman who, over 88 years, rescued and raised more than 30 abandoned baby girls. Despite a life of hardship, Xiaoying found fulfillment in creating life and connection where society had offered only abandonment. As her daughter Juju recalled, “If she had the strength enough to collect garbage, then how could she not recycle something as vital as human lives?”
The Mattering Instinct is a testament to the idea that humans find purpose when, as the poet Rumi wrote, we “let the beauty we love be what we do.” In a world fractured by competing claims on what’s important, goldstein offers a vision that is both intellectually resonant and humane, reminding us that the struggle to justify our existence is the very thing that makes our existence matter.
