Berlin – My family never had a lot of money. During my school days in Mannheim, I was all the more confused that I was surrounded by classmates from wealthy German families – or at least from the so-called upper middle class. They lived in duplex apartments in quiet, green parts of the city, or in large villas with a swimming pool in the basement and a jacuzzi in the garden.
I felt like Alice in Wonderland every time I was invited to stay overnight or to a big birthday party in one of these stays. All of my friends had their own room with a television, computer, shelves full of books and cupboards full of clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry. Me, on the other hand? Had to share my room, wardrobe, shelves with my sister nine years older and my brother six years older – until I was 14 or 15 years old.
My family has lived in a three-room apartment in downtown Mannheim for more than 40 years. When I was little, we sometimes went on viewing appointments for a larger apartment – but my parents always decided not to move. Of course, that also had something to do with our financial situation.
My mom was a housewife and my dad was self-employed, ran a travel agency and was almost never at home because he had to work so much. Complaining about our lives is whining on a high level, I am aware of that. We always had a well-stocked fridge, we went on vacation every summer in our holiday home on the Mediterranean, I also got pocket money, and yes, once a year I was allowed to choose expensive and fancy Converse shoes that my dad didn’t like, but they did he paid with pleasure.
But a stay abroad, privately paid, for example in the USA, as some of my friends did in the ninth grade? Or a driver’s license at the age of 15, the costs borne by the parents? That was just out of the question for me.
I had the most confusing experiences when I was in school at Sweet Sixteen parties. One of my German classmates actually got a bright red car with a bow for her 16th birthday, I will never forget that for my entire life. At their 18th or high school graduation, others were given access to accounts that their parents had paid into since they were born. 10,000 euros in one fell swoop. Simply that way. And they were allowed to do whatever they wanted with it: a year abroad before studying or new furniture for the shared room.
I ask myself: are such gifts common in German families? In fact, I am not familiar with any family with an immigrant background to account gifts. Do Germans save better?
Was i jealous? Yes of course. But the envy subsided very quickly. I simply had no financial expectations from my parents. Our motto was: want something, have to do it. So I worked as a temporary worker and spent the money I earned on a new cell phone, a tablet, books and on short trips with my friends. I got my driver’s license during my studies, which I financed with student loans. During this time, my dad helped me out financially wherever he could. I am infinitely grateful for that.
And after all, when I was still living with them, my parents never asked me to rent. There is also that in German families. Very confusing.
More columns by Miray Caliskan
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