A family secret is not necessarily toxic, but concealment is guided by shame or fear of the gaze of others. Adobe Stock
PSYCHOLOGY – The nature of the hidden truths evolves according to the times, but the question of knowing if it is necessary to reveal them or not remains topical.
Until a few decades ago, a secret around homosexuality, abortion or pregnancy outside marriage was like a bombshell if it came to light. Today, this type of information is generally better accepted by society, even if there are variations from one family to another. At the same time, easier access to certain technologies (such as a paternity test, prohibited in France without legal proceedings but easy to obtain on the internet) weakens certain taboos: a child can thus learn that he was born of an adulterous relationship and that the father who raised him is not his biological father.
Under these conditions, is it preferable to reveal a family secret to one’s children and if so, when, how? “If there’s one rule when it comes to family secrets, it’s that there are no rules! Each case is unique and generalizations must be avoided.“, agree to say Dr. Marie-Claude Gavard, psychiatrist and author…
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