After a three-month hiatus, John Oliver returned to HBO on Sunday night with the 13th season premiere of Last Week Tonight, immediately tackling the sheer volume of news that accumulated during his time off the air. Oliver, known for his deep dives into complex issues, acknowledged the challenge of condensing so much into a single segment, quipping, “We’ve been off for the last three months, and we have missed a lot, and I imply a lot, a lot.” The show’s return offered a rapid-fire recap of events ranging from international politics to Olympic drama, all delivered with Oliver’s signature satirical edge.
The segment began with a whirlwind of headlines, including former President Donald Trump receiving the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize – an award presented shortly before allegations surfaced regarding his involvement in what Oliver described as “kidnapping the president of Venezuela.” The latest release of documents related to Jeffrey Epstein’s case also made the list, as did a surge in measles cases across multiple U.S. States. Oliver’s commentary highlighted the irony of the situation, noting that while the outbreak was concerning, it wasn’t necessarily a negative development “if you’re the measles.” This rapid-fire delivery set the tone for a segment packed with a dizzying array of news items.
From Greenland to “Detective Hole”
Oliver didn’t shy away from lighter, yet still absurd, news. He revisited Trump’s repeated suggestions of acquiring Greenland, or, as he’s apparently begun referring to it, Iceland. The comedian also touched on the personal struggles of the Beckham family and a peculiar moment involving Trump promoting whole milk in the Oval Office. A clip was shown of Trump emphasizing the correct spelling of “whole” with a “w,” which then segued into a humorous tangent about the new Netflix show, Detective Hole, starring detective Harry Hole. Oliver playfully pointed out the pronunciation discrepancy, noting the Norwegian pronunciation of “Hole” as “Hu-la” versus the more straightforward English pronunciation.
Political Shifts and a Stolen Walrus Penis
The recap also covered domestic political developments. Zohran Mamdani’s swearing-in as New York City mayor was mentioned, alongside Eric Adams’ launch of a meme coin intended, among other things, to combat antisemitism. Perhaps one of the more bizarre headlines Oliver highlighted was the theft of a walrus penis from a New Jersey cheesesteak icon, prompting a rhetorical question: “You don’t think if we’d been on-air back then, we’d have tracked down that walrus penis and donated the proceeds to Doctors Without Borders or something? Are you new here?” The incident, as reported by local news outlets, underscored the often-surreal nature of current events.
Olympic Drama: Cheating, Theft, and a Bravo Reality Show Pitch
The Winter Olympics provided ample material for Oliver’s commentary. He focused on the personal drama surrounding Norwegian biathlete Sturla Holm Lægreid, who publicly admitted to cheating on his girlfriend after winning a bronze medal. Oliver quipped, “Wow. That is usually not the kind of declaration of love you see in public, it is why stadium jumbotrons generally say things like, ‘Will you marry me?’ and not ‘Sorry I fucked your sister, are we cool?’” The athlete’s ex-girlfriend subsequently declined his attempts at reconciliation, issuing a statement that Oliver described as “brutal.”
The biathlon’s messy side continued with the story of Julia Simon, a French competitor who won gold despite a recent suspended jail sentence for stealing credit cards and making $2,300 in online purchases. Reuters reported that Simon had admitted to the theft in October, claiming she had no recollection of the events. Oliver jokingly suggested the situation was ripe for a new Bravo reality show, tentatively titled The Real Biathletes of Milan, highlighting the chaotic energy surrounding the sport.
A History of Misconduct
Oliver further detailed Lægreid’s past indiscretions, revealing that he was previously banned from the Biathlon World Cup in 2023 for accidentally discharging his firearm in the team’s hotel. This history, combined with Simon’s recent legal troubles, painted a picture of a sport rife with off-field drama. The segment underscored the often-unexpected and sometimes scandalous stories that unfold beneath the surface of high-level athletic competition.
Last Week Tonight’s return served as a potent reminder of the relentless pace of the news cycle. Oliver’s ability to distill complex events into a concise and humorous segment provides a unique perspective on the world, offering viewers a moment of levity amidst the constant stream of information. The show’s continued relevance lies in its willingness to tackle tough subjects with intelligence and wit, making it a staple of late-night television.
Looking ahead, the show will undoubtedly continue to dissect the major events unfolding both domestically and internationally. The next episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver is scheduled for February 23rd, promising another week of insightful commentary and satirical observations. Share your thoughts on the premiere and what topics you’d like to see covered in the comments below.
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