Scorsese & Lawrence Champion Lynne Ramsay’s Unflinching “Die My Love”
A new film exploring the complexities of motherhood, starring Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson, is poised to captivate audiences and spark conversation, thanks to the vision of director Lynne Ramsay and the early support of Martin Scorsese.
Several years ago, Martin Scorsese discovered Ariana Harwicz’s novel, Die, My Love, within his book club. The Argentinian author’s work follows an unnamed woman’s descent into isolation and frustration after relocating with her husband to rural France, grappling with the confines of marriage and motherhood. The protagonist introduces herself to readers as “a nutcase,” “someone beyond repair,” exhibiting behaviors like setting fire to ants and expressing raw, unfiltered emotions about her child. She articulates a taboo sentiment: “I’m a mother, full stop. And I regret it, but I can’t even say that.”
Scorsese, deeply affected by the novel, immediately envisioned Jennifer Lawrence in the lead role and shared the book with her production company. Lawrence and her producing partner, Justine Ciarrocchi, were equally convinced that Lynne Ramsay, a director known for her unflinching portrayals of dark family dynamics, was the ideal filmmaker to bring the story to life.
Ramsay’s directorial debut, Ratcatcher (1999), garnered critical acclaim for its stark social realism, drawing comparisons to the work of Ken Loach and Terence Davies. The film offered an unsettling exploration of a 12-year-old boy’s experience following an accidental drowning in Glasgow during the 1973 bin strikes, and remains a landmark achievement in British cinema. She further cemented her reputation with We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011), adapted from Lionel Shriver’s novel, a harrowing depiction of a mother grappling with the aftermath of her son’s horrific act of violence. The film, starring Tilda Swinton, explores the complexities of parental responsibility and the potential for fractured connections.
Ramsay is known for confronting uncomfortable truths, but initially hesitated with Harwicz’s Die, My Love, describing it as “surrealist” and questioning how to translate its ambiguity to the screen. “Jennifer got in touch with me out of the blue,” Ramsay recounts, “and asked if she could send me a copy of Harwicz’s novel. It’s a beautiful piece of writing, but I wasn’t sure how I could adapt it.” However, Lawrence’s enthusiasm and Ciarrocchi’s encouragement ultimately persuaded her to take on the project.
“But you can’t be flattered into anything?” Ramsay remarked with a smile, acknowledging her commitment to artistic integrity. She engaged in extensive discussions with Lawrence about the boundaries of the role, ultimately finding a path forward. “I suppose I was wary because I didn’t want to make a film like We Need to Talk About Kevin again, but Jennifer was pretty willing, saying that she wanted to go all out, to see where the role might take her.”
Aesthetically, Die My Love diverges from We Need to Talk About Kevin. While the latter utilized a widescreen CinemaScope format, Ramsay opted for the more restrictive Academy frame (1.33:1) for Die My Love, creating a sense of claustrophobia and intimacy. “Die My Love felt very much like a portrait film, whereas Kevin was a [metaphorical] dance between Kevin and his mother,” Ramsay explained. She also recognized a core element of enduring affection within the troubled marriage, describing it as “a satellite love story,” and emphasized the character’s “feral and unapologetic” nature as a key element.
Ramsay co-wrote the script with Enda Walsh, known for his work with Steve McQueen on Hunger, and Alice Birch, the playwright and screenwriter behind Normal People and Succession. Scorsese joined as a producer, and the cast was finalized with Lawrence as Grace, Robert Pattinson as her husband Jackson, Sissy Spacek as Jackson’s mother, and Nick Nolte as his father. The film, titled Die My Love (with the comma removed for added impact), follows Grace and Jackson as they relocate from New York to a remote location in the American West, near Jackson’s parents.
The resulting film is a powerful exploration of motherhood and its challenges. Lawrence delivers a compelling performance, widely anticipated to earn her a fifth Oscar nomination in January. She embodies the role with a rawness that transcends her established Hollywood persona. The narrative unfolds as Grace and Jackson initially revel in their newfound freedom – enjoying unrestrained intimacy and music in their isolated home – before the arrival of their child dramatically shifts the dynamic. The film portrays Grace’s struggles with isolation, creative stagnation, and a waning connection with her husband, including moments of frustration, desire, and a desperate search for meaning.
One character, Pam, played by Sissy Spacek, offers a dismissive comment about motherhood, suggesting all mothers are “a little loopy the first year.” The film counters this reductive view, with Grace articulating that her struggle isn’t with attachment to her son, “it’s everything else that’s fucked.”
Ramsay draws parallels between Die My Love and Terrence Malick’s Badlands (1973), praising its unconventional narrative and the iconic presence of Sissy Spacek. She also cites John Cassavetes’ A Woman Under the Influence (1974) as a key influence, noting its depiction of the “epic in the everyday” and the hidden complexities within a marriage. “As Peter Falk’s Nick loves Gena Rowlands’s Mabel, so Jackson loves Grace, but neither man knows what to do with his woman.”
Critics at the Cannes premiere quickly identified themes of postpartum depression in Grace’s character. Lawrence, who was five months pregnant during filming, has spoken openly about the isolating experience of the postpartum period, describing it as feeling “like an alien.” Ramsay, however, emphasizes a more nuanced approach. “I related to her writer’s block, to her sex life going totally to pot and other universal struggles, but I didn’t approach the project thinking Grace only has postnatal depression. It has to be more layered than that.”
Ultimately, Grace’s actions stem from a deeper yearning for connection and a rejection of numbness. She engages in self-destructive behaviors – smashing herself against a glass door, wearing inappropriate clothing, and confronting societal expectations – as a desperate attempt to feel something. “There’s a truth in Grace cutting through the bullshit with people that appeals to me,” Ramsay says. “I found it really funny when she says it like it is.”
Ramsay acknowledges her tendency to explore “darker characters,” like Grace and Joaquin Phoenix’s Joe in You Were Never Really Here, and believes audiences are increasingly receptive to honest portrayals of mental health. She emphasizes the importance of avoiding apology for complex characters. She is known for pushing actors to their limits, fostering a collaborative environment built on trust. “If there’s trust, which you build up through conversations about character and story in prep, you can go to places that are unknown and exciting.” Ramsay reveals that the film’s intimate scenes were shot on the first day of production to “break the ice” and establish a rapport between Lawrence and Pattinson.
Ramsay’s journey to filmmaking was unconventional. Initially studying photography, she was rejected from the Royal College of Art before finding her path at the National Film and Television School. Her early short films, Small Deaths and Gasman, both award-winning at Cannes, paved the way for her feature debut, Ratcatcher. She reflects on her early career, noting that she and Shane Meadows were among the few working-class filmmakers at the time.
Despite facing setbacks with projects like The Lovely Bones and Jane Got a Gun, Ramsay remains committed to protecting her artistic vision. She acknowledges the challenges of independent filmmaking but remains resolute in her approach. Mubi acquired the rights to Die My Love for $24 million at Cannes, a testament to the film’s potential. Ramsay’s definition of success is simple: “A film that stands the test of time.”
Currently, Ramsay is developing two new projects: an adaptation of Margaret Atwood’s short story Stone Mattress and a film for Margot Robbie’s LuckyChap about AI. “I can’t tell you more than that!” she says, “All I can say is that I might be a bit more pragmatic these days, but I’m still making films my way, sticking to my guns and holding on to my integrity.”
There is a rebellious spirit at the heart of Lynne Ramsay’s work. The film concludes with Ramsay herself performing a cover of Joy Division’s 1980 single, Love Will Tear Us Apart. The rendition transforms the original’s abrasiveness into a tender vocal performance, suggesting that while love may be destructive, its enduring power remains.
Die My Love is in cinemas from 7 November.
