The Trauma Beyond loss: Polish Woman Reveals Systemic disregard During Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Abortion
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A new book details harrowing experiences within the Polish healthcare system, revealing that for many women, the emotional and psychological trauma stemming from miscarriage, childbirth, and abortion isn’t rooted in the events themselves, but in the callous and often dismissive treatment received from medical professionals.
Magdalena Matraszek’s forthcoming book, “Everything is OK,” chronicles a deeply personal journey through multiple pregnancies, miscarriages, and an abortion, exposing a pattern of systemic failings within Polish healthcare that prioritize medical authority over patient dignity. The core revelation, as Matraszek recounts, is that the most damaging experience wasn’t the physical loss, but the profound lack of empathy and, at times, outright cruelty she encountered.
earlier incident wasn’t an isolated case of insensitivity; she was also blamed for the miscarriage by a doctor who suggested a “normal pregnant woman” wouldn’t travel 600 km for a holiday, despite her gynecologist’s approval. The dismissive attitude – “the baby shook in the car,” and the accusatory “you should have thought, not spread your legs” – left indelible scars.
Hospital Violence and the Erosion of Dignity
Matraszek unequivocally states that the way she was treated was far more painful than the losses themselves. “You can come to terms with loss, after all, it is a natural part of life,” she explains. “However, it is different when there are violations that should never have occurred.” She describes the experience as “hospital violence,” a phrase that encapsulates the emotional and psychological harm inflicted by medical staff. The casual dismissal of her experience as a “pregnancy failure” during a hospital round exemplifies this disregard.
This systemic issue, she argues, stems from an unequal power dynamic within the Polish healthcare system, where women are often treated “from above, often impersonally and without respect.” A deeply ingrained cultural deference to doctors – the belief that “the doctor knows better” – allows for transgressions to occur with impunity. Even seemingly minor interactions,like being addressed in the third person (“Get dressed,turn around”),are considered reprehensible.
Loneliness Across the Spectrum of Reproductive Experiences
Matraszek’s experiences extend beyond miscarriage. She found that both abortion and childbirth were similarly isolating experiences. While acknowledging that some solitude is natural during these deeply personal events,she emphasizes the problem arises when it’s imposed by societal stigma and a lack of support.
The taboo surrounding abortion in Poland, she notes, leaves women in “complete loneliness and fear of social exclusion,” afraid to seek help from family or friends. Similarly, childbirth, which should be a joyous occasion, is often characterized by impersonal care and a lack of genuine support from hospital staff. Doctors and nurses,she says,are more likely to “huff and pressure” than to offer assistance.
The Echoes of Past Trauma and the Pursuit of Authenticity
Reflecting on her experiences, Matraszek acknowledges repressing memories of childbirth, a common coping mechanism triggered by the release of happiness hormones designed to mitigate suffering. However, even this natural process was undermined by medical negligence – her pain being dismissed and her concerns ignored after both deliveries.
Ultimately, Matraszek’s journey has been one of reclaiming agency and prioritizing her own well-being. “I definitely learned to listen and understand my body better and respect its boundaries,” she states. Her book, born from a “disagreement with the system,” is a powerful call for change, advocating for a healthcare system that respects a woman’s right to “give birth and miscarry with dignity.” Her core message, resonating throughout her narrative, is simple yet profound: “when you don’t know what to choose, choose yourself. Always choose yourself.”
