2024-03-05 02:17:02
The current form of celebrity farewell in our country is looking very scary. The kind of media, cameras and behavior of people at the time of funeral is worrying. In this hour of grief, very few people are seen thinking about the bereaved family.
highlights
- People do not miss taking selfies even on this sad occasion.
- There was a scuffle during the funeral of Pankaj Udhas.
- Condolences were left behind in the recording of the funeral.
Author: Shobha De
I am scared of my own funeral. I know I am nothing but these days no one is spared. The same thing happens if someone attends their funeral. At a time when the funeral procession with different mourners is heading towards the crematorium, why should anyone miss the momentous opportunity of taking a selfie with a famous person? We already have an entire army of hungry paparazzi waiting for a chance to spot any celebrity. Soon, a team of special ‘Antim Darshan’ photographers will be deployed at various cremation grounds. Designers/stylists who create ‘airport look’ and pre-red-carpet make-up will have to provide services to include ‘funeral look’ for fashionistas. Now people rush to get blow dries and manicures done in the last minutes of a high profile funeral to look more presentable.
Why did these sad thoughts come to mind?
These ominous thoughts arose in my mind when I saw the over-enthusiastic crowd of unruly photographers rushing to capture the first photograph of the dead body of famous ghazal singer Pankaj Udhas. At that moment the doors of the ambulance opened and the bereaved relatives were pushed aside in the scuffle. After this, interviews were conducted with friends and colleagues of the ghazal maestro. That too at a time when they had gathered to express condolences to his family. The state funeral was marred by cameras hovering around the singer’s flag-draped body and often closing in on his face. There were other, equally offensive clips that unsettlingly followed his grieving wife’s visit. The coverage was breathless and absurd as close friends were cornered. He asked a very simple question: How are you feeling right now? What are your thoughts? How well did you know him? Most were forced to surrender. He was forced to respond by suppressing his words. Not even a minute was wasted as fans checked out the latest updates and posts from celebrities. We were all participants in this!
Pankaj Udhas Funeral: Pankaj Udhas merged in Panchatatva, heart will be hurt to see tears of unconscious wife and daughters.
addicted to privacy violations
Recently there were three high-profile deaths – eminent jurist Fali Nariman, ‘radio emperor’ Amin Sayani and Pankaj Udhas. These three got a lot of love across the country. Thousands of people were fans of these people. His life was spent in the public eye. His demise left a huge void. However, they were entitled to privacy in death. It was the most tragic hour for the victim’s family members but the level of public scrutiny is so exaggerated that it spares no one. Propriety is harmed. We have become so accustomed to this gross violation of privacy that we no longer react to how disgusting such conduct is. Especially towards the family members engrossed in prayer. One could argue that this is a standard international threat – where there’s a celeb’s corpse, a photographer would be crazy to take a feed. In such a situation, turning a last darshan into a last circus is the worst joke!
Pankaj Udhas had borrowed money from his wife for his first album, broke the wall of religion and married Farida 42 years ago
Need to exercise restraint in cremation
Often, people are not even aware of the greatness of the deceased person. They exist only to record every minute detail of the funeral – who came, who didn’t, what the women wore. Oh God, no respite for the dead. Perhaps, what the media needs is a basic rule book to remind them to exercise some restraint and discretion when doing their jobs at sad, intensely personal moments like funerals. In times like these where the only thing the family wants is some secluded space which is very important for them. Wants solace in the mourning of a dear member. It is okay to cover yourself with a blanket at a public memorial service. This generally happens to everyone. It is considered a formal occasion to say final goodbye. There are many websites that offer tips on how to give respect at funerals in an increasingly cross-cultural world. They teach us to deal with sensitive and often foreign customs while demonstrating empathy and understanding.
Recently, there was silence in the auditorium after listening to the songs of Pankaj Udhas, at some places even sobbing could be heard.
Can’t you give a dignified farewell?
In most Western cultures the color of mourning is black, while in India and China white is the predominant color. We do not bring gifts with us, but garlands and flowers. No matter the differences, one thing is common: respect. But what is often forgotten in such difficult times is the right to privacy. Especially when it comes to clicking pictures or videos and sharing them on social media platforms. A public figure who is no longer there cannot do anything about such coverage, except to specifically instruct his successors to keep it completely private and restrict media access. Once the dam of secrecy is broken, no one can stop the flood. But can we please make the last darshan less of a farce and more of a dignified farewell?
About Anil Kumar
Anil KumarAnil has been active in the media industry for more than a decade. The journey that started with reporting from Dainik Jagran Chandigarh in 2009, has reached NavbharatTimes.com via Dainik Bhaskar, Rajasthan Patrika, Amar Ujala, Jansatta.com. He is originally from Bihar but completed his education from Delhi. Along with sports and education reporting, he also has experience of working at the central desk. Has special interest in politics, sports as well as foreign news… Read More
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