When losing patience is a thing… well I can tell you, it is! “Calmness will save you”, my father used to say. And the rule “patience is a virtue” is also one that I took with me from my childhood. People often think I come across as relaxed. Very chill and patient. But in practice it is sometimes different.
Losing patience with your child
Never judge a book by its cover, because even though corpse is very chill and patient, that is a bit of a pretense. Because when that cup of apple juice turns over for the eightieth time, I fall down again over the shoes that have been thrown in front of the shoe cabinet or when I have to see how a green bean is dissected in order to then ‘eat’ it with mouse snacks and eight cups of water, then calmness can no longer save me and I do lose my temper sometimes. And it doesn’t look really clean.
Losing patience with your child is terrible. Yelling, angry looks, it happens more often than I would like. Sometimes I wake up in the morning with the intention of keeping my temper under control.
Today I will not lose it. Today I make a day that my children can remember.
But unfortunately, losing patience is in a small corner. But when it does threaten to happen, here are a few tips for you. Tips to keep in mind, tips not to lose your temper.
Tips not to lose your temper
1. Equal Treatment
Treat your children the way you treat your friends’ children. Are you going to yell at them if they leave their shoes lying around? Probably not. Do you sigh and puff when they knock over a cup? No, probably not. Of course, your own blood draws the blood from under your fingernails much faster. And losing your temper with your own child is much more likely. But why not treat your own flesh and blood as honorably as the children of another?
2. Sleep deprivation
Make sure you are not tired. – WHAHAHAHA! – Okay, maybe an unfeasible tip for a young parent, but it definitely works. Screaming is often impotence and when you are more tired, impotence strikes faster.
3. Losing Source Of Patience: useless discussions
Do not engage in useless discussions or arguments with your child. If you are already frustrated yourself, they will react frustrated too. Be clear and honest.
Oh yes, and no is no and remains no! It will only benefit your child later in life.
4. Be positive
Look at the bright side of life, it saves a lot of frustration and unpleasant atmospheres. Will the cup tip over again? “Oh, grab a cloth and clean all the seats right away.” And compliment the cleaning, instead of commenting on knocking over the cup.
5. Be prepared
When you start carrying out work or activities unprepared, the children will frolic around you impatiently. And that is of course the recipe for losing patience.
Are you about to leave all together, make sure you go and don’t have to do another twenty ‘things’. Is it dinner time? Make sure you know what you’re going to eat and have everything you need, because we all know what hungry kids can turn into…
6. Leave the situation
If it starts bubbling inside you, leave. Avoid losing your temper by taking yourself out of the situation. Sit on the stairs and tell your child you need a “time out.” The kids will look at you crazy too.
7. Be an example
Because yes, that’s what they do. They watch you and they learn from you. That in itself is a good reason to set the right example.
8. Figure out why you’re losing your temper
Usually the problem lies elsewhere than with that overturned cup. You’re tired, you’ve got other things on your mind, you were already pissed off because you had an argument with your guy, or whatever. When you realize it’s just a clumsy act on your innocent little one’s part, you’re much less likely to freak out.
9. Whisper
And if all of the above doesn’t work, try whispering instead of yelling. Often comes across as much scarier as well.
It all sounds so simple, why is it so damn hard!? Losing patience with your child is always lurking. They call it parenting, raising. Beautiful on paper, but more real in reality.
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