Imagine if we could track babies at birth and track almost every decision they make throughout their lives and examine its outcomes. Could we learn from this which decisions lead to personal prosperity, to a healthy, happy and meaningful life? This was the idea behind a study that began in the USA in 1938, under the name Harvard Study of Adult Development.
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The initiator of the study is William T. Grant, philanthropist and owner of a chain of department stores named after him. He sought to understand what makes us healthy, but also what makes us happy, and which decisions in our lives will lead us at the end of our days to say that we lived well, that our years on earth were worthy and meaningful.
The research started with students from Harvard and young people of the same age from underprivileged neighborhoods in Boston and so far has encompassed four generations. Participants answer questionnaires, undergo in-depth interviews, MRI scans and blood tests. The researchers talk to their parents, their spouses and now the subjects’ grandchildren. Several dozen of the original participants in the study are still alive.
“Every time we send out the questionnaires, some of the subjects from the group that came from the backward neighborhoods ask us, ‘Why do you keep asking me about my life? It’s not that interesting.’ Robert Waldinger, who currently directs the study, is fourth in number.
The research is not over yet, but last September the book The Good Life was published, which summarizes the researchers’ insights to date. Their main conclusion is that relationships are the key to a good life and a healthy life. Dr. Mark Schultz, professor of psychology and data processing expert at Bryn Mawr University, Waldinger’s partner in leading the research and writing the book, tells about this in an interview with Globes.
Prof. Mark Schultz
personal: Expert in the study of emotions and relationships and their influence on development throughout life. Has a PhD from the University of California at Berkeley
Career: Professor of Psychology at Bryn Mar College and co-director of the Harvard Adult Development Study. Advisor to the Lifespan Research Foundation which expands the research on issues arising from the Harvard Longitudinal Study
Something else: Co-author of two books: The Good Life, and Adolescence and Beyond: Family Processes and Development
The relationship between loneliness and inflammation
When Schultz is asked what the one important thing we learned from the experiment, he replies that it is undoubtedly the effect of the quality of our relationships on health, not just happiness. “After this finding was discovered by us 25 years ago, it was found in many other experiments and today there is also a partial understanding of the mechanism through which this occurs. The study of this interface is today a significant and exciting front in the medical field, as well as the psychological,” he says.
Over the years it was found that relationships, with an emphasis on what the study defined as “warm relationships”, were highly correlated with a wide range of results that are considered good. For example, financial success was associated with warmer relationships than intelligence, and those who enjoyed better family and social relationships at age 50 were healthier at age 80.
A warm relationship with the mother in childhood influenced the level of income in adulthood and a reduced tendency to dementia, and a warm relationship with the father predicted lower levels of anxiety in the future, greater enjoyment of work and higher satisfaction at age 75.
The research findings revealed over the years
Alcohol was the leading cause of divorce, regardless of social background. Alcohol together with cigarettes were the behavioral factors that had the most significant effect on life expectancy
A warm relationship with the mother in childhood predicted financial success. Men who had poor relationships with their mothers were more likely to develop dementia
A warm relationship with the father predicted lower levels of anxiety in the futuremore enjoyment from work and higher satisfaction at age 75
Participants who defined themselves as liberal continued to have sex for longer years – until their 80s, compared to 68 on average for conservatives
The happiest employees There were those who communicated with their colleagues also on issues not related to work
“The effect of a warm relationship on health occurs through the obvious things – for example, people who are close to us remind us to go to the doctor or inspire us to exercise like them, maybe together with them, but there are also much more physiological mechanisms, immune mechanisms, inflammatory mechanisms,” says Schultz.
“We already know that loneliness turns off or turns on genes related to three systems of morbidity: protection against viruses, protection against bacteria, and probably the most significant in this context is the inflammatory activity system in the body. Inflammatory processes are at the basis of a variety of diseases related to aging. Our research on the effect of loneliness on Inflammatory systems should be published very soon.
“In retrospect, maybe this figure shouldn’t have surprised us. Humans, evolutionarily speaking, are social animals. The mechanisms of inflammation are probably like the mechanisms of hunger. This is pain meant to tell us to go fix the situation. And like food, the same goes for society – not everyone needs The same type, not everyone needs the same amount, but when we drop below a certain amount, it is very difficult for us to survive.”
Prof. Mark Schultz / Photo: Ann Chwatsky
The psychological mechanisms through which relationships affect health are likely related to emotional regulation. According to Schultz, “friends and people close to us help us reframe problems, to move from thinking about the problem to thinking about solutions and the future, they encourage us that everything will be fine, and in general give us a feeling that we have our backs.”
There is also a second side to the equation, the positive side. “Our greatest joys in life are with other people. Successes are sweeter if we share them emotionally with someone else. In the company of others we may laugh, which is good for our health and helps us reduce stress.”
How to measure a warm relationship
You emphasize the importance of a warm relationship. How do you measure it?
“These are relationships that have trust and support. One of the questions we ask is, ‘If you wake up very frightened or very sad in the middle of the night and want to talk to someone, is there someone you can talk to?’ By the way, we encountered married people with children who said that they would not allow themselves to wake up any of their family members in such a situation and would be left alone with the distress.
“Additional measures are the amount of time we spend together and how much we trust other people. Relationships where we meet infrequently or for short periods of time are also important, but relationships characterized by prolonged stay together or prolonged communication are more significant.”
And really, do all types of relationships satisfy the need in the same way or is there a special contribution to family, romantic, friendship relationships and more?
“In terms of the type of relationship, it can be a friend, a relative, a close colleague or a neighbor. The most important thing is the quality. In our world, the people we spend a lot with are mostly family, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Some people spend a lot of time with people that they work with, and this is a very important relationship for them. Or, for example, a sports team. I, for example, have been collaborating creatively with Robert Waldinger for years on this research, and this is a very significant relationship for me.
“In terms of the number of relationships, the important transition is from zero to 2-3. Complete loneliness affects health just like smoking or obesity. A transition from three good friends to five already has a much more marginal effect. But it is probably better than one, in case one is neutralized Right now, and also because it’s hard to find all the types of support we need in one person.”
Parents don’t decide everything
What message do you have for someone who is lonely, and now following the reading he is lonely and worried about his health?
“First of all, you are not alone in your loneliness. In Western countries, 20%-40% of the public feel lonely at any given moment. This is an amazing number. I mean, what you are experiencing is completely normal, and there are other people around you who are looking for relationships and are not satisfied.
“Another happy thing is that it is possible to make a change in the levels of loneliness even in old age. There is hope. We even wrote a chapter about it in the book, entitled ‘It’s never too late’. The best way to connect with people in old age is to do something that they enjoy in the company of others. Volunteering, sport, hobby
The philanthropist who funded and the president who participated:
5 facts about the Great Happiness study
1
The research’s goals are similar to its stated goals today: “to help people live more peacefully and comfortably…through understanding how to enjoy the good things the world has to offer.”
2
The initiator of the research was William Thomas Grant, a philanthropist who became rich thanks to the chain of department stores he founded. The chain of stores named after him went bankrupt in the 1970s, but Grant managed to found a foundation in his name that still contributes to research at Harvard and research focused on reducing inequality.
3
The first generation of the study included 268 Harvard students and another 456 young people of similar ages from underprivileged neighborhoods in Boston. When the children of these subjects were born, about 1,300 of them joined the study.
4
The most famous participant in the study is assassinated US President John F. Kennedy.
5
Among the questions planned for the next generation in the research (those born in the sixties and seventies): how our goals in life change over the years, how the corona epidemic affected the group’s values and what makes certain people especially sensitive to the negative effects of the new media.
“Single people are often people who have been hurt by relationships in the past, so they are more apprehensive about contact or more shy, but this does not mean that they need contact less. The same goes for people with less strong communication skills, for example people on the autism spectrum, but not only them There is no evidence that they need society less or enjoy it less.
“There are skills that can be developed: listening, asking questions, making small talk, validating other people’s feelings. There are those who come naturally to it, but almost everyone can learn to do it.
“We don’t teach children these skills officially at school. School is an arena for socializing, but an arena that doesn’t always receive the right direction. Today in the US there is already talk of the possibility of teaching children social skills in a much more orderly way.”
How does the relationship with the parents and social relationships affect especially young ages?
“Each of us has a model in our head of ‘how people are.’ , and these relationships are very important. But we don’t ‘get stuck’ on the first model, but update it constantly throughout life. So yes, we saw the relationship between the quality of the relationship with the parents and life satisfaction at age 80, but the correlation is far from perfect. It’s not fate. We’ve seen people with difficult childhoods in terms of relationships, who were very successful in terms of the emotional connections they built later on.”
The biggest regret of adults
Let’s talk about the connection between relationships, money and success
“Our study found, like other studies, that money is very significant for life satisfaction up to a certain threshold. In other words, poverty is a very significant stressor in life, but beyond a certain threshold, the relationship begins to break down and we see a very weak correlation between more money and greater happiness.
“Regarding status, success and publicity – people like to set goals and achieve them. It’s certainly nice, but the achievement itself has an effect for a limited period of time. We will probably be happier if we set a few goals throughout life and achieve them, than if we achieve a huge goal at some young age, and then We will not achieve similar goals again, or if an achievement falls upon us by chance, an achievement that we did not have time to strive for and strive for. Achievements are more significant if we share them with others, who support us on the way to them and are proud of us when they are accomplished.
“My conclusion is that life is not somewhere else. We won’t start living and being happy when we get there. Life is here.”
Schultz also warns of the price of ambition. “Young people have a tendency to forget about relationships when they are pursuing a physical goal, and according to our research this is less beneficial to happiness. Ambition does not necessarily have a price in terms of relationships, but it can have and should be paid attention to. In our study, the group of Harvard graduates of course recorded on average More “measurable” successes than the group that came from the backward neighborhoods, but there were no differences between them in the average levels of happiness. There were huge differences in life expectancy – almost ten years on average! But in terms of happiness levels, there were no differences at all.”
So the cliché that says no one regrets not working more but people do regret not spending more time with family and friends is true.
“Absolutely. It’s a cliché that’s completely backed up by our research. We asked adults what they regret. 75% said ‘I wish I’d spent more time with X’ or ‘I wish I’d been nicer to X.’ There were people who said ‘I wish I spent less time at work’. Almost no one said ‘I wish I worked more’, with one caveat. There were women who said it was a shame they didn’t invest more in themselves at the expense of taking care of others, including their careers.”
But work also means social connections, and impact and a sense of competence – things that are important to people. If you asked ‘if you were willing to work but at the cost of losing some of these achievements’, you might get a different answer.
“Yes, but our interviewees know this, yet repeat the same conclusion again and again. It is true that at the end of life, a sense of meaning becomes very important. We definitely think about what we left behind, at work, in the community and in the family.
“By the way, people who have what we call ‘Social Fitness’, a social quality of life, are also generally more effective. Their satisfaction helps them to be more effective at work. So it may be that the hour you spent sitting with friends will also help you at work.”