Stefanie Graf saved my life

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Fears, bullying, trauma! Kilian Kerner reveals: Stefanie Graf saved my life

A dream comes true for Kilian Kerner

Robin Kater www.robinkater.com [phone]

April 11, 2024 at 9:21 am

von Marigona Sulejmani

What do fashion designer Kilian Kerner and tennis legend Stefanie Graf have in common?

That’s right, your big heart! It’s almost that time again: Berlin Fashion Week will open its fashion doors again in February. And Kilian Kerner will also present his new collection. But this year with a special project – and a very special woman at his side. An interview.

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This is how Kilian Kerner wants to thank his great idol, Stefanie Graf

Kilian Kerner is not only a welcome “Germany’s Next Top Model” juror, but – and above all – a successful designer. Every year he presents his latest creations at Berlin Fashion Week – including in 2024. But one thing will be different in February.

With his fashion show, Kilian will raise money for the “HonigHelden” project, the non-profit foundation “Children for Tomorrow” founded by Stefanie Graf. The initiative was created to help traumatized refugee children. A real matter of the heart for Kilian. Because he also experienced the most severe trauma in his childhood. The 44-year-old talked to us about exactly this and explained why the “HonigHelden!” project means so much to him.

Kilian would have needed therapy as a child, but people didn’t talk about these things back then. There was no therapy. It is so important to recognize trauma as early as possible and work on it. They are essential if you want to have a healthy and successful life. And the designer knows that today too.

RTL: Kilian, why does the “HonigHelden!” project mean so much to you?

Kilian Kerner: “I’ve been watching the work of ‘Children for Tomorrow’ since they started in 1998 because I’ve always been a Stefanie Graf fan. It is clear to me today: I live with my traumas, have dealt with them very well and today they play an absolutely subordinate role in my life and I am a very happy person. But I didn’t start my therapy until I was 21, and I would have needed it as a child. Previously has
no one talked about these things. And that’s exactly what ‘HonigHelden!’ does. Through this project, therapies can take place at school and in educational centers. Older children and young people come to the ‘Children for Tomorrow’ refugee clinics. But because it is so important to recognize trauma early and then start therapy, they asked themselves: ‘How do we get to the younger children?’ And then they came up with: ‘In the
School.’ In many cultures it is the case that therapy is something that doesn’t happen at all or is something negative. But school is something very important in many cultures, “honey is something sweet, everyone knows that, just like heroes.”

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RTL: You have always been a Stefanie Graf fan. What is it like working with her?

Kilian Kerner: “I saw Stefanie play tennis in 1985 at a tournament in Berlin (not live, but on TV) and I was so fascinated from the first minute that I said to my mother, ‘I want to have her T-shirt, I want to have your racket and I want to play tennis now’. That was my reaction to that final, which she lost against Chris Evert. I immediately fell mercilessly in love with this woman. And now this very impressive meeting took place. She is warm and has such a great aura. There’s something very calming about it. Stefanie Graf really carried me through my entire childhood, through my entire youth. I just really admired the way she handled all of this. She always seemed so down to earth. And even when bad things happened to her, I thought to myself: If she can do it, then I can do it too. She gave me a lot of strength. And now I can give something back. “Thank you, even if you never knew anything, you helped me a lot.”

RTL: Speaking of school. How was school for you?

Kilian Kerner: “For me, school was the worst place of my life. My trauma occurred very early and I didn’t really realize it. But he was a stubborn child at times. And I always took refuge in tennis. For me there were three anchors: Stefanie Graf, Tennis and Nena. And these were all vanishing points. And when I played tennis, for example, I didn’t even play where I played, I was at Wimbledon and played for the final (laughs). That was a help for me. And then I entered the fifth grade. I was very small and looked like a girl. That really wasn’t funny. In addition to the fact that I had previously experienced severe trauma, I was a complete victim at school. Well, I was beaten up and I was always the ‘faggot’ and so unpleasant things happened that made the whole thing worse. And that’s exactly why ‘Honey Heroes!’ touches me. so much because they care about school being a safe space.”

RTL: But shouldn’t school always be a “safe space”?

Kilian Kerner: “Apart from the fact that I am sometimes very critical of the German school system. Yes, of course, the school has an educational mission and not a healing mission, but especially in these times, when bullying is also very high, the German school system – regardless of whether it is refugee children or not – should follow the example of ‘HonigHelden!’ and have a therapist at school to identify trauma. Because for me it was like this: I was always quiet, I was always quiet and at some point during puberty it got really bad. I sometimes even verbally attacked the teachers. It’s not always the loud ones who need help. They are often the quiet ones too.”

RTL: And what happened next for you?

Kilian Kerner: “When I was 21, things really went downhill for me. I got really bad depression. Then I went to drama school and we had to do a self-portrait and we had three months to do it. And in that time everything was solved. The traumas of my childhood have come to the surface. It was the worst time of my life and everything came to a head. On top of the trauma came the bullying. Of course, that ruined my self-confidence even more. And then it happened that I could hardly go to drama school. I had severe depression, I couldn’t sleep, I had anxiety disorders. I gained weight and stopped paying attention to myself. I also messed up a lot. I was also slightly addicted to shopping. But at 21, as a student, you don’t have that much money and then I got into debt. I just needed something because I couldn’t cope anymore. I had to buy something because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to bear it any other way. And I think it took about seven months until I saw a doctor. I was then put in a traumatology ward for several months and that saved my life. I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten there. My therapist at the time definitely saved my life and she laid the foundation for me to be one today
“I am a happy person.”

RTL: Is there anything you would do differently today?

Kilian Kerner: “If someone said today ‘you could press a button and none of this would have happened’, I would say ‘no’ because who knows if I would be so incredibly ambitious and obsessed with my job today. I always wanted to prove myself. Today I know: I don’t have to prove anything to myself anymore. I wouldn’t be who I am today if none of this had happened to me. Back then my three anchors were always Nena, Tennis and Stefanie Graf. And now: My career started with Nena, then I made a tennis collection and now the project with Stefanie Graf, who helped me so much – and can
at the same time giving something back and fighting to ensure that traumatized children today have an easier time than I had. That’s a really big gift.”

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