Harriet Armstrong’s ‘To Rest Our Minds and Bodies’ Captures the Raw Intensity of First Love
A debut novel by Harriet Armstrong, To Rest Our Minds and Bodies, published by Les Fugitives, offers a bracingly honest and often darkly humorous exploration of young love, desire, and the search for self-understanding. The book distinguishes itself from the often-categorized “sad girl lit” through its unflinching portrayal of emotional turmoil and its commitment to a uniquely contemporary voice.
Navigating the Labyrinth of Early Desire
The novel centers on an unnamed, 24-year-old psychology student’s consuming infatuation with a fellow student, Luke. Their connection blossoms in the intimate setting of a campus kitchen, quickly escalating into shared meals and deeply personal confessions within the narrator’s room – a space marked by a stark “suicide beam” that serves as a constant, unsettling counterpoint to her burgeoning feelings. As the narrator describes it, falling for Luke felt like “some great transition was occurring inside me, something was aligning, I could actually feel it.”
Armstrong masterfully depicts the all-consuming nature of first love, portraying the narrator as “wide open and completely soft like a small trembling animal held in two hands, two hands which could crush it completely but which would not.” This vulnerability is coupled with a startlingly fresh perspective, where the world itself is re-experienced through the lens of new affection. “I had never seen a winter which was so yellow… before Luke I had never really felt gendered… Luke and I were inventing ourselves,” she observes.
A Portrait of Imbalance and Self-Discovery
While captivated by Luke, the narrator’s perception is, understandably, filtered. The novel subtly reveals him to be a self-involved and somewhat self-pitying individual, a reality obscured by the narrator’s intense emotions. He fails to fully reciprocate her feelings, leaving her in a state of emotional uncertainty. This imbalance highlights a crucial theme: the narrator’s limited self-awareness.
She recognizes her “self-conscious awkwardness” as stemming from her neurodivergence, but lacks the deeper understanding needed to prevent repeating patterns of seeking validation from emotionally unavailable partners. A particularly poignant scene, where the narrator Googles “vaginal dilators,” underscores her exploration of sexuality and her attempts to reconcile her intellectual understanding of the body with her own lived experience.
A Descent Without a Safety Net
What sets Armstrong’s novel apart is its refusal to offer the reader a conventional filter through which to view the narrator’s descent into obsession. Unlike protagonists like Esther in The Bell Jar, she lacks a detached perspective, creating an unbearably intense reading experience. The novel doesn’t shy away from the messiness of emotion, presenting the “essence of obsession as it’s lived in every moment.” Yet, this intensity is balanced by a sharp, often wry humor.
Armstrong astutely captures the Gen Z world of online life and shared living spaces, noting the simple aversion to mundane tasks: “I didn’t want to get up to go and make breakfast and be faced with some shirtless boy cooking ramen.” This blend of vulnerability and wit is a hallmark of Armstrong’s distinctive voice, which is described as “jejune, candid and ludic, but always aware of its effects and its commitment to emotional truth.”
The Body and the Mind in Conflict
The novel’s title alludes to a crucial Cartesian split – the separation of mind and body. The narrator is both intensely analytical and deeply attuned to her physical sensations, grappling with the question of whether “sex was a necessary component of the life that I wanted, perhaps some things really couldn’t be accessed at all except through sex.” Her exploration of sexuality is further complicated by Luke’s ambivalence towards her joining Tinder, leading her down a path of “tragic dates” and a first sexual experience with a thirtysomething comedian, rendered with “surreal awkwardness” but ultimately imbued with a sense of triumph.
A Devastating Conclusion
Inevitably, Luke distances himself from the narrator. The aftermath is described as a “biblical flood or plague” of memories, culminating in an inability to function without being consumed by thoughts of him. The novel concludes with an invitation to Luke’s 24th birthday party, a scene where she is acutely aware of his having moved on, yet unable to fully process the reality. The final scene is as “deft and devastating as the conclusion to a Cheever story,” leaving a lasting impression of heartbreak and unresolved longing.
To Rest Our Minds and Bodies is a remarkable debut, announcing Harriet Armstrong as a bright and singular voice in contemporary literary fiction. To support the Guardian, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
