2023-05-09 22:30:58
Widows of Ukrainian soldiers find relief through the public telling of their personal stories or sharing experiences in virtual initiatives that help them cope with the loss of their husband.
“pain is always present. Sometimes I try to escape, lie to myself and tell myself that everything is fine. But it’s important to accept it,” explains Eva Fialka, the widow of a Ukrainian soldier, at the opening of the “Alone” photo exhibition, which focuses on five women who lost their husbands in the Russian invasion.
Her husband, Dmytro, was a children’s football coach in Lviv. His team was going to play the final of the national cup after defeating the favorite “Dinamo kyiv” when the Russian invasion began. At the age of 39, he had enlisted as a volunteer in the army. It fell near Bakhmut on September 1.the day her 6-year-old daughter went to school for the first time.
Eva participated in negotiations to recover her body that lasted a month. In parallel, she continued working and taking care of her daughter and her 5-year-old son. “Dmytro enlisted to protect me and the children, to defend all of Ukraine. I am grateful to him for having been a part of my life. I will always remember him,” says Eva.
“There are thousands of such women in Ukraine. Our goal is not to leave them alone with the pain. Each one should feel accompanied, that we are in this together”, says Anastasia Abramets, director of the virtual platform “Memorial”, organizer of the exhibition, which was inaugurated last week.
“Telling their stories is a kind of psychotherapy that helps to face this enormous problem“Abramets stressed to EFE. Each woman reacts to the loss: “Memorial’s task is to give an opportunity to those who feel the need to share their story.”
More of 3,000 verified stories have been submitted by those who lost loved ones in this war, according to its director.
“Every time you express your pain and talk about it, you feel a tear. However, little by little you are feeling better“, Eva revealed. Thanks to the project, her tear is now “part of a great pain” and her memories “melt into the memory of the entire nation.”
Talking about those losses, not just about her husband, and about her feelings has also helped another Ukrainian, Tetiana Vatsenko-Bondareva, cope with her grief.
Her husband, Denis Bondarev, he was an actor, he was 38 years old and he did not hesitate to enlist in the army, despite the fact that he had no military experience, faced with the threat of Russian forces taking kyiv. A Russian mine killed him a year ago, after months under daily shelling on the front line near Zaporizhia.
“I don’t have words to describe how strong and brave he was. Thanks to thousands of people like him, millions of Ukrainians managed to flee in time to a safe place and prevent their children from suffering war trauma,” Tetiana stressed.
The widow, who previously used social networks for strictly professional purposes, He started writing about his loss from his Facebook account. Unexpectedly, her messages went viral as dozens and then hundreds of women, who had also lost her husband, responded and contacted her. Tetiana created a shared chat with other women where they talked to each other and shared her experiences.
Related news
Ukrainian society is still learning how to deal with the enormous loss and how to help traumatized people, Tetiana explained to EFE. “In our community they can feel safethey know that they will be understood by people who have gone through the same thing,” he explained.
From talk or chat quickly passed to an NGO. Tetiana understood that women needed all kinds of help, from psychological to legal, to face a series of challenges posed by the death of her husband. “There are other similar initiatives, but the catastrophe is of such magnitude that it is still not enough“, subraya Tetiana.
#Ukrainian #widows #cope #grief #shared #virtual #spaces