I haven’t had colon cancer screening yet. Stupid, yeah, I know. Everyone says to go. Celebrities have even been filmed during the colonoscopy, but only in the face. But I am indolent and faint-hearted. The probing of the prostate, which is advisable at my age and located in a similar manner, has not yet taken place in me. Perhaps I am getting something wrong: But is it possible that Sigmund Freud was not referring to me when he invented the anal character type?
There is no justification for my negligence. The excuse that I don’t need one either, because my behavior is unreasonable, but a private matter, only applied until recently. The private is political. Hopefully the federal government will not take notice of me now. An official announcement could come directly from the Chancellery, according to which even small columnist Mielke is responsible for the health awareness of his readers and therefore has a certain role model function. So now he should kindly – the following phrase does not fit perfectly into the context – pinch his ass cheeks and let the specialist staff drive around in his rectum.
The government did this to Joshua Kimmich. The professional footballer had known that he was not vaccinated against Corona. Government spokesman Seibert then warned him that he would “let the information work on him again and then maybe decide in favor of the vaccination”, if only because of his “role model effect”. The government did not say this in a clear sky blue. No, said her spokesman after Kimmich had already learned from the media that he behaved immature, irrational and lacking in solidarity, was on the “side of the science deniers” in the “culture war”, was a rifle wrench of the AfD and no longer from FC Bayern should be delegated to the field until he had let himself be injected, ideally probably as part of a state act in front of the Brandenburg Gate. In order to completely destroy the delinquent’s unwillingness, Karl Lauterbach had threatened him with a personal explanation talk.
The pillory queue on the opinion marketplace was long when the government queued behind with a rotten party tomato. A remarkable process. Will a minister tomorrow explicitly point out to the role model officer Helene Fischer that the quadruped position is more advantageous when squeezing body fruits than the popular supine position? I have had myself double vaccinated and at the same time find it strange that the same government, which rejects compulsory vaccination for legal or cowardice reasons, is pressuring a selected citizen to undergo medical intervention. In my opinion, something is voluntary if the state power concerns the contents of the intestine.
As for my gut: I plan to close the prevention gaps. But if there were administrative pressure in this regard too, I would by no means announce a tactile examination I had had and would also serve as a key witness for the overriding government. Anyway, Mr. Seibert, here’s an offer for peace: I’ve just come back from the annual dentist check-up. With a fresh bonus booklet. The old one was fully stamped. Am I not a role model?