Why is it so hard to practice and accept criticism? Why can’t we focus on trying to improve? How and why do we stand in our selfishness that we did something wrong, when we receive criticism, or in the fear that we will hurt the other, when we exercise it?
Below are research and expert opinions that agree that criticism need not be painful or toxic to be constructive.
There is nothing more natural than giving and receiving feedback on your performance at work.
Corrections, a natural process
We are all so different. Therefore, what seems to us to be the right way to approach an issue may be completely different from what our boss or a colleague we work with expects of us. Who ever got ahead without the help of those around them? “While we’re eager to be given feedback on our work, when we have to do it ourselves, we’re terribly reluctant,” says researcher Nicole Abbey-Esber, who works at Harvard University. In the research he conducted, of the 155 participants, only four dared to tell the researcher that they had something on their face (lipstick, chocolate, or red pen). Participants admitted that they would not correct a colleague if they misspelled someone’s name, made mistakes in references, or spoke too fast in a presentation.
The reasons we hesitate to correct someone – and therefore others hesitate to correct us – have a lot to do with our empathy and insecurity: many of us neither want to hurt the person in front of us, nor do we want to be hated. for what we said, explains Dr. Lauren Simon, professor of Management at the University of Arkansas, who came to the above conclusions through research she conducted.
Specific review, specific results
Would you rather live ignorantly in your pink bubble while those around you struggle to constantly make corrections to your mediocre work? “People need to remind themselves that proper criticism is the ultimate act of meaningful interest given the circumstances,” says Dr. Simon. A psychologist from the University of Amherst, Kathryn Sanderson, explains more specifically how “a coach who asks his athlete to ‘try harder’ is much less effective than one who advises him to ‘strengthen his muscles more, and start to he lifts weights starting with his next workout.” Specific prompts, therefore, have a much greater effect.
Instead of criticism, advice
And what happens when we want to improve, but no one offers it to us? Research by Hailey Blunden, a doctoral student in organizational behavior at Harvard University, brings to light that asking the people around us for advice rather than criticism has impressive results. “That’s because advice is forward-looking and can open a person’s eyes to us, unlike criticism that stands in the past.”
Feedback sandwich, this problem
A common approach to the problem is the feedback sandwich method, which is presented as follows: when we have to confront a mediocre performance by our colleague, we start with something good that he did, so as not to surprise him, we continue with the piece which displeased us, and we end on an optimistic note, that he is capable and there is no reason to worry.
American research shows that 86% of US workers have given and 95% have received sandwich feedback, and while the method works better than the lack of criticism, many researchers have deconstructed it. First, because if the recipient focuses on the negative criticism, they will forget about the compliment. Secondly, because from the first time onwards, if we start by praising him, he will expect negative criticism to follow. And thirdly, because if he focuses on the praise, he will forget the areas of improvement that we suggest, which was the main reason we wanted to talk to him.
So the way, says psychologist and best-selling psychology author John Grant, is to be specific and show you care: “It’s surprisingly easy to hear a difficult truth if it comes from someone who believes in your potential and cares about your achievement. of your goals”.
2024-03-21 18:22:00