I realize that I haven’t been here for far too many weeks when the owner speaks to me. “But we haven’t seen each other for a long time,” she says, leaning against the door frame that leads from the back of the café to the front. Although she is visibly on the move – she has several bags in her hands and is also dressed warmly – she asks: “How are you?” Her question is full of genuine interest.
“Not so well,” I would have to say, but we only know each other from frequent encounters in the past and a few short chats over coffee and cakes. I don’t want to embarrass them or hold them up. So I shrug and answer with an uncertain “must”. It sounds all wrong. Nothing is mandatory, despite the Rhenish laws. “Watt mutt, datt mutt” also sounds much more powerful, a bit stubborn and above all not at all resigned. “And you?” I ask quickly to drown out my uncertainty. She responds with the same word, only it sounds more forceful on her. She talks about the last few months, about fears and doubts, but also about good changes and the right decisions.
Encouraged by her openness, I now also report on my troubles and the wealth of these days, which makes many things easier, and we both realize that it is such a complex “must”. After she said goodbye and sent a “See you soon!” through the door frame, I think back to a conversation I had with a friend a few days earlier. We sat together in a bar for a long time and on the way to the S-Bahn she asked me: “Are you also afraid of the question ‘How are you?'” I said yes without thinking twice and now I understand her even better. Today, the question is usually meant more seriously than it used to be. That’s why you want to answer more precisely and honestly. That, in turn, is more difficult than two years ago because there are still more emotions raging. Or: wild romp. You don’t want to, I don’t want to, overwhelm the other person with that.
It’s kind of the thing with the question. A “good” can usually remain as it is. No one asks, “Why?” Not even in these times (why actually?). But if you bravely answer “not good” or even “bad”, it would be something between impolite and heartless not to ask why. Even in these times.
Book premiere of “Always nice and slow”, the new column book by Barbara Weitzel, on Thursday, March 17, at 8 p.m. in the Pfefferberg Theater (Schönhauser Allee 176). Moderator: Susanne Lenz (Berliner Zeitung)