Are We Addicted to Anxiety? Exploring the Compelling New Viewpoint
Table of Contents
- Are We Addicted to Anxiety? Exploring the Compelling New Viewpoint
- Breaking free from Anxiety’s Grip: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Power
- Navigating Anxiety: A Conversation with a Therapist and a Guide to Finding Calm in a Chaotic World
- Breaking Free from Anxiety’s Grip: Practical Strategies for a Calmer Life
- Breaking Free From Anxiety’s Grip: An Interview with Dr.Owen O’Kane
Key work events make me anxious. They give me chest pain, a churning stomach, and disrupted sleep; my thoughts race through all the mistakes I could make, replaying every bad experience in my past. Why put myself through this, I reason, which inevitably means that when, say, a high-stakes meeting is on the horizon, those feelings are worse, more intense, more prolonged. It’s a vicious cycle, and one I admit early on when interviewing anxiety expert Owen O’Kane.
O’Kane doesn’t seem surprised, and why should he be? I bet everyone tells him about their anxiety. My dread, avoidance, and catastrophic internal monologue are, as he might say, “bog-standard” these days. Research by the Mental Health Foundation in 2023 found that 60% of UK adults reported experiencing “anxiety that interfered with their daily lives in the past two weeks.” We’re anxious about global geopolitics, the climate, and the cost of living; our health, jobs, relationships, and what strangers think of us. It takes children out of school and adults out of work.It’s an uneasy background thrum everywhere, something I’ve assumed to be a product of our ill-adapted, threat-seeking brains constantly bombarded with every terrible thing in the world through the shiny rectangles clutched in our sweaty hands. US psychologist and author Jonathan Haidt recently characterized a whole demographic of smartphone natives as “the anxious generation.”
So, the title of O’Kane’s latest book, Addicted to Anxiety, and the question it poses (“Have you ever considered you might be addicted to anxiety?”) feel sort of confronting. Is O’Kane saying our anxiety is our own fault? He doesn’t look like a provocateur when he logs on to Zoom – his sweet dog is slumbering in the corner, and there’s collage art reading “Love is the answer” on the wall behind him – so I wonder, did he have any, well, anxiety, about how it would be received?
“I really agonised about the book and the title,” he says. “Then when I started to write it, I saeid, no, I believe whole-heartedly this is the book I want to write.” He’s aware it might sound tough.“Did I want people to stop and think and did I want them to catch their breath for a moment? Yes, 100%. Because I don’t think there’s enough of that.There are so many false promises about healing your anxiety forever, never worry again… There’s so much bullshit out there; I just think I don’t want to be part of that.”
O’Kane has seen enough anxiety to know we need something better than the “bullshit.” In his career as an NHS lead psychotherapist, he saw soaring levels of anxiety both in practice and in the wider community. He noticed a pattern: people were seeking fast fixes, temporary relief, and magical cures, but the underlying issues remained.
“We’ve become so used to instant gratification,” he explains, “that we expect anxiety to be something we can just switch off like a light. But it’s more complex than that. Anxiety is a deeply ingrained habit, a way of being in the world.”
O’kane’s book, addicted to Anxiety, explores this concept of anxiety as a habit, arguing that we often inadvertently reinforce our anxious thoughts and behaviors.We might avoid situations that trigger anxiety, which provides temporary relief but ultimately strengthens the fear response. We might engage in compulsive behaviors, like checking our phones constantly or ruminating on negative thoughts, which temporarily distract us from the anxiety but ultimately keep us trapped in the cycle.
“We’re not saying people are to blame for their anxiety,” O’Kane clarifies. “But we are saying that we have a role to play in breaking the cycle. We can learn to recognize the patterns, challenge our thoughts, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.”
So, how do we break free from the grip of anxiety? O’Kane offers several practical strategies:
Mindfulness: Paying attention to the present moment without judgment can definitely help us become more aware of our anxious thoughts and feelings, allowing us to observe them without getting swept away.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This evidence-based therapy helps us identify and challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with more helpful ones.
Exposure Therapy: Gradually facing our fears in a safe and controlled environment can help us build resilience and reduce anxiety over time. Lifestyle Changes: Getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and limiting caffeine and alcohol can all contribute to better mental health.
Building a Support System: Connecting with loved ones, joining a support group, or seeking professional help can provide valuable support and encouragement.
O’kane emphasizes that breaking free from anxiety is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs, but with patience, persistence, and the right tools, it is possible to reclaim control over our lives and live more fully.
His book, Addicted to Anxiety*, offers a fresh perspective on this pervasive issue, challenging us to confront our relationship with anxiety and take proactive steps towards healing. It’s a call to action, a reminder that we are not powerless in the face of anxiety, and that a life free from its grip is within reach. reported in his reading. (“It was really clear that the research was telling us more and more people are anxious, younger population groups, older population groups and everything in between.”) He also observed it in his personal life. “With family members,with people I meet in the street,talking about their kids struggling,or their husband…”
His “aha” moment in terms of framing anxiety as an addiction came when he was running a small NHS anxiety group,which was making promising progress. He told the group that he noticed everyone seemed to be doing well, “I fed back the changes and noticed there was this deadly silence in the room. Then someone joked: ‘That’s made me a bit frightened that you said that.’” Another man,a former drug addict,jumped in. “He said: ‘Bloody hell, I thought it was hard to give up the drugs. But this is bloody addictive.’ The minute he said that, everyone in the group laughed, so they got it. And the thing was, I also got it. I thought,this is the one thing we don’t talk about enough. We talk about the ways you think,what happens in the body when you’re anxious,we talk about the process,but we never really think about that attachment to anxiety.”
O’Kane is at pains to stress that anxiety in itself is not bad: throughout the book, he describes the importance of treating the “anxious self” with compassion and gratitude. “It’s an important part of our humanity,” he says, and welcoming it rather than pushing it away creates a sense of ease and understanding; it’s just doing its job, after all. “anxiety is designed to protect us and keep us safe. Without that mechanism, we would get into all sorts of bother,” he says.
In his own life, growing up in Northern Ireland at the height of the Troubles, anxiety was “about survival”, he explains. “To let your guard down or not be cautious or not be watching out for the next problem did lead to actual and real danger.” But for him, and for anyone inclined to or wired for high levels of anxiety, it’s easy to end up with “a mechanism that will just keep playing out threat, threat, threat”.
So we’re all anxious beings and circumstances or susceptibilities make us more so, but what makes anxiety addictive? “It’s not an official diagnosis,” O’Kane acknowledges in the book. “There are no 12-step programmes for anxiety addiction.” But anxiety does have a lot in common with mainstream addictions which, he says, “come with a promise: I will make you feel better; I will stay with you; I will get you out of this situation; I will take away your pain.” The mechanisms of anxiety, he argues, make similarly big promises. “I will protect you; I will keep you safe; I will stop bad things from happening. So, who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t think that’s a really good thing to stay attached to?”
There’s a sort of magical thinking involved: we believe our anxiety is essential to keep us safe, so we get hooked on the feelings, sensations and thoughts – the altered state, actually – it creates in us. Anxious people don’t “wake up each day thinking ‘I need my anxiety hit,’” he writes,but they do “attach to their anxiety as if it’s a safety blanket.”
Anxiety,a pervasive and frequently enough debilitating condition,affects millions of Americans. It can manifest in a myriad of ways, from persistent worry and fear to physical symptoms like racing heartbeats and shortness of breath. While anxiety is a natural human response to stress, when it becomes excessive and interferes with daily life, it’s crucial to seek help.
In his book,”Anxiety: How to Break the Habit,” Irish author and therapist, Dr. John O’Kane, offers a unique and empowering perspective on anxiety. He argues that anxiety, while powerful, is ultimately a habit that can be broken. Drawing parallels with addiction recovery, O’Kane emphasizes the importance of recognizing anxiety’s grip and taking proactive steps to reclaim control.”It’s odd to think of what anxiety provokes in the body and the mind – unpleasant physical symptoms, irrational thoughts, self-sabotaging behaviours – as comforting, addictive coping mechanisms, but that’s what they are,” O’Kane explains. “They offer short-term relief from threat. ‘I can guarantee nothing will go wrong if you avoid that dinner party; I can promise you that you won’t feel rejected if you don’t apply for that other job.’ Those promises are alluring. But, of course, the problem is, the more hooked and attached you become, then the bigger the anxiety becomes and you get caught in this almost circular loop.”
This cycle often leads individuals to engage in behaviors that temporarily alleviate anxiety but ultimately reinforce it in the long run.These “rascals,” as O’kane calls them, include:
Making excuses to avoid situations that trigger anxiety: This might involve skipping social events, avoiding public speaking, or declining opportunities for growth.
Becoming easily angered, impatient, or argumentative: Anxiety can fuel emotional reactivity, leading to conflicts and strained relationships.
Relying on substances to numb anxious feelings: Alcohol, drugs, or even excessive caffeine can provide temporary relief but ultimately worsen anxiety in the long term.
Engaging in compulsive behaviors and rituals: These can range from excessive handwashing to checking locks repeatedly, offering a false sense of control.
Constantly seeking reassurance from others: This can create a dependence on external validation and prevent individuals from developing self-reliance.
Breaking free from these patterns requires a firm and deliberate approach. “I guess the robustness is as your anxious self needs to know that you’re in charge,” O’Kane says. “Anxiety is a really powerful mechanism. It’s a life-saving mechanism,so it’s not weak. Negotiating with it has to be equally strong.”
O’Kane’s approach emphasizes personal agency and empowerment. He rejects the notion of powerlessness often associated with anxiety and addiction,arguing that individuals have the capacity to change their relationship with anxiety.
“The whole book – subtitled How to Break the Habit – is about precisely how much power we have over anxiety,” he states. “It’s about breakthroughs.”
O’Kane’s own journey provides a powerful testament to this belief. Growing up in Northern Ireland during the Troubles, he experienced firsthand the impact of violence and fear. As a gay Catholic in a deeply divided society, he faced relentless bullying and discrimination. These experiences left him with “primal,hardwired responses to look out for threat even when it’s not there.”
Despite these challenges, O’Kane found a way to overcome his anxiety and build a fulfilling life. He credits his recovery to a combination of therapy, self-awareness, and a commitment to challenging his anxious thoughts and behaviors.
his book offers a practical roadmap for others seeking to break free from anxiety’s grip. It provides a step-by-step guide to:
Acknowledge and accept your anxious self: The first step is to recognize that anxiety is a part of you, but it doesn’t have to define you.
Develop techniques for deactivating physical symptoms: O’Kane offers a range of techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation, to help manage the physical manifestations of anxiety.
Accept and process your emotions: Instead of trying to suppress or avoid anxious feelings, learn to acknowledge and accept them without judgment.
Detach from anxious thoughts: Recognize that anxious thoughts are not necessarily true or helpful.Learn to observe them without getting caught up in them.
Challenge your “rascals”: Identify the behaviors that reinforce your anxiety and develop strategies for breaking free from them.
Breaking the cycle of anxiety is a journey,not a destination. It requires patience, persistence, and a willingness to confront your fears. But with the right tools and support, you can reclaim your power and live a life free from anxiety’s grip.
In a world increasingly defined by uncertainty and rapid change, anxiety has become a pervasive experience. While some level of worry is natural, for many, anxiety has escalated into a debilitating force, impacting daily life and well-being. Enter Dr. Paul O’Kane, a renowned therapist and bestselling author, who offers a fresh perspective on understanding and managing anxiety in his book, “The Anxiety Toolkit.”
O’Kane’s approach is deeply personal,rooted in his own journey with anxiety and his extensive experience working with clients. he emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and acceptance, urging readers to view anxiety not as a flaw but as a signal that something needs attention.
“It’s a big ask, to ask people to explore their own humanity and to make changes in their life,” he says. “If I’m not willing to give some of me in that,I shouldn’t be doing the job.”
This commitment to transparency is evident throughout the book. O’Kane doesn’t shy away from sharing his own struggles, offering a relatable and authentic voice that resonates with readers. He describes his own path to recovery, highlighting the transformative power of therapy and self-care practices.
“Rebuilding a positive, functional relationship with his anxious self came through therapy and his psychotherapy training; he maintains it with “healthy choices”. O’Kane says he’s “unapologetic” about his wellbeing now: he eats well, maintains good sleep hygiene, plays the piano, walks his dog, exercises and meditates daily, a practice he describes as “a safety check”. He regularly reminds himself: “Whatever is going on in my life, I’m not that thought, I’m not that emotional state, I’m not my ego, I’m not the fear.”
O’Kane’s insights extend beyond personal anecdotes. He delves into the psychological underpinnings of anxiety, offering a clear and concise explanation of how it works. He describes anxiety as an “intolerance of uncertainty,” a compulsion to control,and a focus on the past and future at the expense of the present moment.
This understanding is crucial for developing effective coping strategies. O’Kane emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, grounding techniques, and cognitive restructuring – tools that empower individuals to challenge anxious thoughts and regain control over their emotional responses.”The book isn’t, ‘It’s all lovely, let’s pretend it’s not happening’; it’s about, ‘We work with what is,’” he explains.
While acknowledging the very real challenges of the world, O’Kane encourages readers to find balance. He recognizes the importance of staying informed and engaged in social issues but cautions against letting anxiety consume us.
“It would be ‘sociopathic’ he says, not to be distressed by, for example, the recent LA fires, “but it would be equally unhealthy if I spend every moment of my day worrying about that – then I miss so many other parts of life.”
This message resonates deeply in the current climate, where news cycles are dominated by crises and uncertainties. It’s a reminder that while it’s critically important to be aware of the world around us, it’s equally important to prioritize our own well-being.
O’Kane’s approach is not about suppressing anxiety but about learning to manage it effectively. He encourages readers to view anxiety as a signal, a guidepost that can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
“For somebody who struggles with anxiety, it’s never driven by altruism; it’s driven by almost an obsession to try and control what’s happening,” he observes.
By understanding the root causes of anxiety and developing healthy coping mechanisms, individuals can reclaim their lives and live with greater peace and purpose.
Practical Takeaways for Managing Anxiety:
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in activities that bring you to the present moment, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or spending time in nature.
Challenge Anxious Thoughts: Identify and question negative or distorted thinking patterns. Replace them with more realistic and helpful thoughts.
Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that nourish your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This includes getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and engaging in hobbies you enjoy. Seek Professional Help: If anxiety is significantly impacting your life, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor. They can provide personalized support and guidance.
Resources:
Anxiety and depression Association of America (ADAA): https://adaa.org/
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): https://www.nami.org/
* Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
By embracing O’Kane’s message of self-compassion, understanding, and practical strategies, individuals can navigate the complexities of anxiety and cultivate a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
Breaking Free from Anxiety’s Grip: Practical Strategies for a Calmer Life
anxiety, a pervasive issue affecting millions of Americans, can feel like an inescapable force, dictating our thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being. But as Dr. Owen O’Kane, a palliative care physician, argues in his book “Addicted to Anxiety,” we are not powerless against this internal storm.
O’Kane,who has spent years witnessing the fragility of life in his work,emphasizes the urgency of addressing anxiety. “Way too short to play these games with ourselves,” he writes, highlighting the preciousness of time and the importance of living a life free from unnecessary suffering.
The book delves into the psychological underpinnings of anxiety,exploring how our brains are wired to perceive threats and how this can lead to a cycle of worry and fear. “For somebody who struggles with anxiety, it’s driven by almost an obsession to try and control what’s happening,” O’Kane observes. This desire for control, while understandable, can become counterproductive, fueling anxiety rather than alleviating it.
O’Kane cautions against justifying an anxious existence based on the perceived chaos of the world. “If the world’s chaotic and we’re operating from an internal chaotic state, two negatives don’t make a positive,” he explains. Instead, he advocates for cultivating a “steady inner platform” – a sense of inner calm and resilience – that can help us navigate life’s certain challenges.
Practical Strategies for a Calmer Life
“Addicted to Anxiety” is not just a theoretical exploration of anxiety; it offers a wealth of practical strategies for managing and overcoming it. O’Kane’s approach is grounded in evidence-based practices, drawing on his clinical experience and research findings.
One key aspect of his approach is the emphasis on lifestyle changes. He outlines a list of “lifestyle stabilisers,” including:
Prioritizing sleep: Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night.
Engaging in regular exercise: Physical activity has been shown to reduce anxiety symptoms.
Eating a healthy diet: Nourishing your body with whole foods can support mental well-being.
Limiting caffeine and alcohol intake: These substances can exacerbate anxiety. Practicing mindfulness: Paying attention to the present moment can help calm racing thoughts.
O’Kane acknowledges that these lifestyle changes may not always be easy to implement, especially for those struggling with anxiety. However, he emphasizes that even small steps can make a difference.
He also encourages readers to examine their work environments and make choices that prioritize their well-being. “I believe there are choices out there for every single person,” he asserts.”I meet people who say, ‘I really hate what I do’ and they languish and they stay in it, and I say, ‘I have to be that voice for you: if you’re prepared to stay in that situation at the cost of your wellbeing and health, that’s a choice you’re making.’”
The Power of Choice
throughout “Addicted to Anxiety,” O’Kane underscores the importance of choice. He believes that even in the face of overwhelming anxiety, we always have the power to choose how we respond.
His experience working with terminally ill patients has given him a profound understanding of the preciousness of life. “I’ve always made the decision, even though it hasn’t always been agreeable or practical to move and do something different,” he says, reflecting on his own career choices. ”I’ve done it as I thought, I’m not compromising.”
This message of empowerment is central to O’Kane’s message. He wants readers to understand that they are not victims of their anxiety; they are capable of taking control of their lives and creating a more fulfilling and peaceful existence.
Practical Takeaways for Readers
“addicted to Anxiety” offers a wealth of practical takeaways that readers can apply to their own lives:
Recognize the signs of anxiety: Be aware of the physical, emotional, and behavioral symptoms of anxiety.
Challenge negative thoughts: Learn to identify and challenge the negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety.
Practice relaxation techniques: Explore techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to calm your mind and body.
Seek professional help: If your anxiety is severe or interfering with your daily life, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor.
Make lifestyle changes: Prioritize sleep, exercise, healthy eating, and stress management.
* Embrace your choices: Remember that you have the power to choose how you respond to anxiety and create a life that is meaningful and fulfilling.
By understanding the nature of anxiety and implementing practical strategies, we can break free from its grip and live more fulfilling lives. As O’Kane reminds us, “So much of this is about getting out of your own way.”
Breaking Free From Anxiety’s Grip: An Interview with Dr.Owen O’Kane
Anxiety, a pervasive issue affecting millions, frequently enough feels inescapable. Dr. Owen O’Kane, palliative care physician and author of “Addicted to Anxiety,” offers insights into understanding, managing, and overcoming this debilitating condition.
Q: Dr. O’Kane, your book emphasizes the urgency of addressing anxiety. Why is this such a pressing issue?
Dr. O’Kane: Our lives are incredibly precious, yet anxiety can consume us, dictating our thoughts and behaviors. Witnessing patients grapple with life’s fragility in my palliative care practice has underscored the importance of living fully, without needless suffering. Anxiety steals joy and prevents us from experiencing the richness life offers.
Q: Your book explores the psychological roots of anxiety. Can you shed light on how our brains contribute to this issue?
Dr. O’Kane: Our brains are wired to perceive threats, which served us well in our evolutionary past. However, in today’s world, this threat-detection system can become hyperactive, leading to a cycle of worry and fear. Anxiety ofen stems from an obsessive desire to control everything, a futile attempt to combat perceived chaos.
Q: many individuals struggle with anxiety, yet feel powerless to overcome it. What message do you want readers to take away from your book?
Dr. O’Kane: Anxiety doesn’t define us. While it’s a complex issue, understanding its roots empowers us. Remember, we always have choices. Even amidst anxiety, we can choose how we respond.
Q: Your book offers practical strategies for managing anxiety. Which ones resonate most strongly with you?
Dr. O’Kane: Lifestyle changes are crucial. Prioritizing sleep, regular exercise, a healthy diet, and stress management techniques significantly impact mental well-being. Mindfulness practices, like meditation, can also calm racing thoughts and bring us to the present moment.
Q: Many readers might feel overwhelmed by implementing these changes. What advice would you give them?
Dr. O’Kane: Start small. Choose one or two strategies and gradually incorporate them into your routine. Even minor adjustments can make a difference. Celebrate your progress and be patient with yourself.
Q: Your work emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help. Who should consider reaching out to a therapist?
Dr. O’Kane: Anyone struggling with severe anxiety, or whose anxiety significantly impacts daily life, should seek professional guidance. Therapists provide personalized support, coping mechanisms, and evidence-based treatments.
Q: Dr. O’Kane, thank you for sharing your insights. Your message of hope and empowerment resonates deeply.
Dr.O’Kane: Thank you.Remember, anxiety doesn’t have to control your life. Take charge,seek support,and reclaim your peace.