2023-12-19 09:39:01
Are you worried about not being in all the plans that are proposed to you and that you like to such a point that you are afraid of missing them and it doesn’t let you enjoy the here and now? It may be FOMO (for the English expression Far of missing out), a type of phobia that “has always existed in different packaging” and that has reached a peak with social networks.
A moment from the play ‘Apaga’m que m’encenc’, a family musical about cell phone addiction. EFE/Biel Aliño
You’ve gone on a long weekend but your friends are celebrating a birthday and you’re more focused on them than on what you’re experiencing on your trip. believe you anxiety not be there. It could be an example of FOMO, which in most cases is the tip of the iceberg of a larger underlying problem.
“It is a kind of phobia or fear of not constantly being in plans that can be socially attractive, that generate pleasure. It is the phobia of not being constantly connected with others and that others are not constantly connected with me and with what I do, it would be like that fear of missing out on things, of not being in everything,” he says. In statements to EFEsalud, psychologist Andrea Vega.
EFE/Isaac Fontana
It’s not a thing now
According to the expert, it is something that has always existed, what happens is that over time it changes not only its packaging but depending on the moment in life in which we move, it acquires more or less relevance and with social networks “it is the order of the day”.
People have always been exposed to having to choose between one thing or another and they like to share attractive experiences with others. Before, for example, there was a meeting at a house to look at vacation photos.
“I think that the need to share all our attractive experiences has always been there, what happens is that now social networks have the weight that they have and the immediacy that they entail constantly puts it on a plate for us,” says Vega.
And you don’t have to wait for the holidays to be over or to see how the night ends to know the opinion of those around you. The same photo is passed to several groups with a single ‘click’ and “we access three times as many people as we did before in a meeting”.
Is there a certain profile?
There is not so much a profile of a person susceptible to having FOMO but there is a certain age range. According to different investigations, it is beginning to emerge mainly around 15 years old or even earlier due to the emergence of networks like Tik Tok, which are increasingly adapted to pre-adolescence, according to Vega.
A teenager watches an influencer on TikTok on her phone. EFE/Luis Tejido
In fact, it affects the fact that new generations are increasingly coming into contact with devices such as tablets, they are even marketed adapted to children and there are platforms that create great digital content for small audiences where they can now connect with each other.
“However, these investigations tell us that from 15 to 19, more or less, is when they have their peak and then it begins to decline around age 32 or 33,” he adds.
And those who have a little lower self-esteem or whose self-worth relies heavily on social reinforcement are more likely to suffer from it. Also people who are more insecure and who do not accept the fact of having to assume the “cost” of not being able to be involved in everything.
High point of FOMO
In the psychologist’s opinion, the fact that FOMO has reached a peak is due to of the reasons main ones, on the one hand what was mentioned above about social networks.
On the other hand, the fact that more and more people not only seek to survive but also to enjoy things, to live pleasant experiences. And managing positive emotions offers dangerous limits because already It is not only about the search for pleasure but also about constantly avoiding what generates a minimum of frustration..
EFE/ Rodrigo Saez Molina
Hence, there is an increasing need to show and demonstrate how attractive each person’s life is because “in the end, when we share, no one shares, of course, unpleasant or super-normative aspects of their daily lives.”
People who suffer from FOMO end up feeling generalized anxiety, they are always hyper-alert, to which is added a more social anxiety.
“These are people who can also end up having certain feelings of loneliness, of frustration because in the end they cannot achieve everything, because others have lives, apparently, or at least publicly, much fuller than ours,” explains Vega.
And the fact of spending all the time ruminating for a long time about the plans to go to and finally choosing one, does not give rest either, but on the contrary, it can be exhausting when thinking about what you are missing and trying to see on the networks. what happens.
Christmasjust like summer vacations or even weekends, It’s a sensitive timeespecially for teenagers, because they have more free time than adults.
How to overcome it
To try to overcome FOMO, the psychologist points out, you have to evaluate the person well and act according to each casebut in general, you have to work on creating a stronger self-esteem and healthy, which is not connected with external approval but with one’s own values.
“What is most valuable to you in life, beyond what others may think? Tolerance of unpleasant emotions and frustration would also work a lot. Show that it’s okay to miss things,” adds Vega.
EFE/Enric Fontcuberta
But also delve into making decisions without the process of obsessive rumination and assuming that there will be costs. Emphasize that you have to live in the moment and not what you could be experiencing if you had made a different decision.
At this point, the psychologist refers to mindfullness, “the training of the here and now” taken into daily practice.
“Since you are here and now we are going to live this, you will live tomorrow what you have to live tomorrow or not and nothing will happen either, we are going to accept this,” says Vega.
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