2024-03-28 19:10:01
Is happiness to be satisfied with what we have, or do we have to constantly search to deserve the joy of life? Documentary filmmaker Marko Doringer and the main character of the film Your Struggle is Our Struggle explores the roots of his depression with several of his peers. Just as in the film presented as part of the One World festival, in the interview for Aktuálně.cz he talks about intergenerational trauma and the inability to talk about his feelings.
Your document is part of a four-part series. Just as your struggle is our struggle, the previous three films are also based on your personal experience. Why are you actually filming yourself?
At twenty-five I decided I was going to be a filmmaker, and I thought I’d reach a certain goal at thirty. I will have a family, a house, a proper job, a car… When I reached my thirties, I didn’t have any of the above. I was going through depression and I felt like I couldn’t do anything. Thanks to my experience, I decided to put everything on one card and make my first semi-biographical film on the subject. The next film is dedicated to the issue of co-habitation, the third to the issue of combining family and work life. Together with me in every film, people from my immediate surroundings also appear, but they change.
Parents of Mark Doringer. | Photo: Mark Doringer Archive
What made you start looking for the causes of your depression?
I have had depressive phases all my life. When I became a father eight years ago, I began to ask myself how my daughter sees and perceives me at a stage when I am unable to have contact with the outside world and therefore not even with her. I realized that my illness suddenly had a different dimension, because I should be a model for further existence.
In the documentary, you also look back into the past, into the life of your father and grandfather…
Yes, my grandfather was a soldier in World War II, from which he of course returned with trauma that he unwittingly passed on to my father. During filming, I realized that depression can be passed down from generation to generation, and part of it can be avoiding certain topics and emotions. The fact that my grandfather never talked about what he experienced in the war may affect the generations after him. Before, people simply didn’t talk about their feelings, it was something exotic for them, they didn’t even have a vocabulary that would allow them to name their experiences. As long as we have the luxury of not directly experiencing the war, and we have the tools to talk about what is happening to us.
The luxury of decision-making causes internal contradiction
The documentary features couples with and without children. A man from a childless couple describes that they would like to go on a two-year trip around the world with his partner, but at the same time he is worried about letting go of his auto mechanic workshop. He experiences a conflict of reason with what his heart feels. Do you think this contradiction is the reason for midlife crisis or crisis in general?
The aforementioned contradiction is symptomatic of our generation. While people used to deal with bare survival, we have the luxury of making decisions. And this well-being causes an internal contradiction, because we have to be able to decide. On the other hand, the impossibility of choice makes life easier. But that doesn’t mean he’s happier.
Do your stories have anything in common?
I should rather ask you about that. My film is not meant to provide answers, but to provoke questions and discussion. The themes that appear in it are global, but at the same time individual. Everyone has to find the answer to their own questions.
At forty you already know that life is finite
I consider the moment when one of the characters realizes that he cannot blame his mother for his, let’s say, unsuccessful life, but is responsible for it himself…
It is so. However, realizing it and making a change are two different things. The worst is perhaps finding out that you have the responsibility in your hands, but you are not able to implement the change for various reasons.
So if I ask another question, did the documentary answer any of your questions?
This document is my most personal yet. And yes, I didn’t know that the reason for my depression came from my grandfather’s history.
A childless couple featured in the documentary. | Photo: Mark Doringer Archive
What do you think is a midlife crisis? The stereotype is that a man finds a younger woman and buys a new car during this period…
Wait, I’m getting my driver’s license right now because I’m turning 50 this year and I’ve found it makes my life easier. I’m trying to avoid the answer so you don’t write that I’m having a mid-life crisis. It’s probably about the fact that in your twenties you don’t really think about anything. In your thirties it’s still fine, but in your forties you start to realize that life is finite, and by the time you’re in your fifties you already know. You also realize that life goes on, your parents will die soon and then it will be your turn. Therefore, you notice topics and problems that you have not solved, so you start to deal with them.
In the documentary, I also perceive a certain acceptance of things as they are. Do you think this can be the answer to life’s crises?
It is possible.
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