If overall “64.5% of the Burundian population show psychological discomfort” (ISTEEBU, 2019), few people brave social barriers to see a mental health professional before the severity stage. This blogger tells us about her adventure. There comes a time in our lives when events overwhelm us. A time when we are forced to recognize that we need help from outside ourselves. I have also been in this situation. Confiding my anxieties to my loved ones or my friends did not solve anything that I came to close my shutter. I felt powerless when it came to managing my inner conflicts.
My daily life was marked by immense boredom and emotional emptiness. Warning signs of depression? I had read enough testimonies about this disease and the ravages in our daily lives that I was afraid of falling into this illness. This is how I decided to go see a psychiatrist.
The black hole of my preparations
In my rush, I came across people’s comments about the exorbitant consultation fees to meet these mental health experts: “To treat my nephew, we paid for sessions with a psychologist for 70,000 BIF per session. » A friend told me. “I know a psychiatrist who consults for 100,000 BIF. » A colleague told me.
However, this did not lower my motivation. I managed to acquire the telephone address of a psychiatrist whom I contacted directly. I was still relieved to hear that he was consulting for 20,000 BIF, an amount that I could afford.
And D-Day arrived. I tried to imagine everything that could happen. What would the doctor’s reaction be when he saw me? I wasn’t going to wear a long-sleeved shirt so as not to attract suspicion. Perhaps the expert would think that I am among those people who mutilate themselves and wear clothes that hide their bodies. Nor to wear dark colors like black which could direct the psychologist to a symptom. In short, I resolved to dress appropriately. Neither too short nor too long. Neither too light nor too dark. I didn’t want to think about my speech when I stood in front of the doctor, I wanted to spout my anxieties naturally.
Arriving at the hospital, I registered like all the other patients. “Which department are you going to? » the cashier asked me. “I’m coming to see a psychiatrist. Is it available » I asked. Without showing any surprise, the cashier replied yes. She directed me to a security guard who was to accompany me to the exact location, since it was the first time I had been to this hospital.
“Did you come alone?” » Was surprised by the security guard who is used to seeing people suffering from mental disorders come accompanied. I found myself alone with a mother whose son was talking to the psychiatrist. A few moments later, the son went out to call his mother. I found him normal at first glance, but he had some strange quirks that I couldn’t describe in his way of speaking. Anyway, I put on headphones to escape the moment and wait my turn.
Flight or perseverance?
In the long wait, I was tempted to run away. After all, I wasn’t suffering from depression or any mental disorder. I slept well at night and my sleep was not interrupted, my appetite was intact, I carried out my leisure activities normally and I did not have suicidal thoughts. My only reason for being there was the emotional emptiness that had taken over my being these past few days, and a desire to talk to an expert about my fears and anxieties. I suddenly associated my coming with a little whim. Despite everything, I remained firm in my decision to see the expert since I placed paramount importance on my mental health.
After about thirty minutes, my turn arrived. The psychiatrist, impassive, invited me to enter. A modest, tidy and well-lit office. He asked me my name while writing in a register. Then he asked me why I was there. I confided to him the worries of daily life, the repercussions of personal challenges on my mental health. He asked me a lot of questions to really understand the problem. Finally, he gave me advice for dealing with stressful situations. I was prescribed prayer, sport and collective activities to avoid loneliness. I left this hospital relieved; like I just had to believe it.
What is certain is that my adventure was not capricious. Rather, we should not wait for the situation to get worse.
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2024-10-10 16:29:00