2024-10-08 18:00:16
For many women it is clear that a man’s economic situation or level of education are determining factors in choosing him as a partner. Let’s deeply explore this phenomenon that has existed for centuries.
Last update: October 8, 2024
Female hypergamy is Tendency of women to choose partners who have a higher social or economic status than their own. They are not just looking for a partner who brings love, but also stability and a better quality of life.
Consider the following example: you are at a party and meet two guys; one talks about his work as an emerging artist and the other is a successful businessman. It’s natural that you feel more fascinated by the latter; not only for its success, but also for the security it can offer.
However, this does not mean that all women are looking for a “prince charming”. Each person has their own priorities in a relationship and many value other aspects besides the financial one. However, hypergamy has always existed and remains relevant today.
Where does it come from?
“Hypergamy” is a term that comes from Greek hyper (“excess”) e gamy (‘union’). It originated centuries ago, when unmarried girls had to find prosperous husbands to improve their status.. Literary classics, such as Pride and prejudiceillustrate how these women expected to be courted by wealthy men.
Despite the gender revolution of the 20th century, the phenomenon continues. It has now evolved and is applied to modern relationships where people seek each other’s social and economic attributes that they consider superior to others.
Although the concept encompasses the aspirations of both genders, there are notable differences. Men tend to appreciate physical attractiveness more, while women prioritize intelligence and profit. Furthermore, in general, female hypergamy is usually more common than male hypergamy.
However, in history, There are also many men who have married women of higher economic status to consolidate yours. This is the case of Juan de’ Medici, a medieval banker, who married the rich Piccarda Bueri to strengthen his position.
How does hypergamy influence partner choice?
This phenomenon has a real impact on how women pursue and approach their romantic relationships. It also affects expectations and dynamics within relationships.
While one should not generalize, as everyone has their own preferences, the following areas are the most related to Hypergamy:
- Instruction: Many women look for partners who have had access to similar or higher education to theirs. Sometimes it’s a way to reflect your own aspirations.
- Comparisons: During a relationship, comparisons to others may arise and lead to disappointment. There is a tendency to believe that “there is always someone better”.
- Self-esteem: Some women may only be attracted to men who exude confidence and success. In this way you can reduce your perception of your own value.
- Expectations: Illusions can be variable in hypergamy. Qualities considered superior or more desirable will be constantly sought after. If they are not found, there will be disappointment.
- Physical appearance: hypergamy can be biological. If so, there will be a preference for certain body characteristics associated with health and beauty. Therefore, important qualities, such as compatibility, will be left aside.
- Income: The search for financial stability is frequent, as an indicator of safety and security. Men with high incomes become more attractive.
- Power dynamics: Differences in status can create relationship imbalances that are attractive to some women. That humans make decisions and have control is both a desire of some people and a source of conflict over one’s responsibility.
Beyond these points, the economic factor seems to matter more than the others and is usually linked to the search for security in a changing context. A man with high social and economic capital, even if he does not meet physical standards, can be attractive. Let’s think about celebrities, like Tom Cruise and Gael García Bernal, who prove that height is not always decisive.
Female hypergamy today
Today, women have access to better training and, in many cases, run or own their own companies. We therefore find ourselves in an era of financial independence and female emancipation that, centuries ago, was unthinkable.
Despite that, Gender pay gaps still persist in several countries. This means that men continue to be the people with the highest incomes. Therefore, female hypergamy is linked to the economic level still valid.
The case of dating apps
In the context of dating apps, hypergamy clearly manifests itself. These platforms allow women to select potential partners with desired characteristicseven before meeting them. Thus, they are more likely to come into contact with men of a certain educational, social or economic level.
In addition, there are sites and app who redefined the concept, moving it away from its negative connotation and focusing on those women who openly practice hypergamy. Some examples are as follows:
- Luxury: It aims to be a luxury site for elite singles.
- Searching: promotes the search for successful people who complement one’s values.
- My sugar daddy: facilitates the meeting between young people and sophisticated men who love a luxurious lifestyle.
- Bumblebee: Women have the ability to decide who they are interested in and attract a man without pursuing him personally.
Other current dynamics
Although men tend to have a higher socioeconomic status, some women have difficulty finding partners with a similar or higher level of education. This reality leads to marriages where someone with less education is chosen, which results in homogamy (equal status) or hypogamy (less than status).
Likewise, There are cases in which this search for a partner with a situation superior to one’s own is not evident.. It usually occurs in young people who are not yet thinking about marriage, who are confident in themselves or who are only looking for a temporary romance.
A controversial concept
Female hypergamy offers valuable insight into understanding the dynamics of relationships. It’s not just about seeking “better,” but it’s a way to find more fulfilling relationships, where both partners support each other.
Its prevalence has decreased in some contexts and there are areas where we could already talk about hypogamy. It’s a change that may be favorable to women and could contribute to greater gender equality.
However, hypergamy continues into modern forms. Technology seems to be an ally in the task of making it easier to find a partner who has the desired characteristics.
Ultimately, every relationship is unique. The most important thing should be that both parties feel supported and valued within the relationship.
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