It’s a network phenomenon, and the closer you are to a panicker, the more panic and panic you catch.
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Lily is a sitting drama. There’s always something he’s freaking out about. Her new task is simply overwhelming, she won’t be able to finish her old one in time, the boss probably looked at her askance.
This drama is sitting on the desk next to you. He likes to complain to you. But even if he doesn’t speak to you, he seems to radiate his emotions, infecting you and draining you.
Are you not imagining it? No, you’re not. You’re really picking up the slack and panic from co-worker Lily.
According to new research, stress is not just a personal psychological reaction. It is a dynamic network phenomenon – it develops and spreads in a social environment.
Behavioral psychologist Shihan Li talks about an experiment with 300 elderly professionals that he and his team observed for 6 months.
“We found evidence that a person’s social interactions with other people in their network are significantly related to how their stress changes over time. A person’s stress level tends to change in the direction of the stress levels of others , with which it interacts. This implies social influence. Stress levels and social networks are interdependent and co-evolve over time,” commented Shihan Li.
Other psychologists who have conducted research in small and large groups also argue that colleagues can become infected with stress, that temporal interpersonal emotional systems exist.
Actually, this is not difficult to understand. Other people’s reactions provide you with potentially useful information about what’s going on. They help you clarify and interpret what the situation is, the requirements that follow from it, and the resources available to deal with it.
The reactions of others also provide you with a reference point that allows you to determine the socially appropriate way to act in the particular setting. It is possible to constantly pick up on your colleagues’ cues, assess changing social norms as you converse and share perspectives, resulting in updating your understanding of the situation and raising or lowering your stress response. As a result, your stress level becomes closer to that of your social contacts, Li explains.
Researchers find another curious thing – very often colleagues in the same team have similar levels of stress. This is not simply due to the fact that they reside in the same objective situation – difficult tasks, a bad boss, some crisis, namely the contagion. And the closer they are to each other, the more consensus there is between them, the stronger the networked emotional systems operate. There is a convergence of attitudes in the environment.
It’s hard to resist. Even if you have a different opinion, if the social information received from others is consistent, you are more likely to find it credible and it will prompt you to reevaluate the situation.
In short, by picking up on the stress signals emitting from Lily, you succumb to them, although you are not in quite the same position – you have another task, the boss did not look askance at you.
It will have an extremely good effect on your mood, energy, efficiency, and even on your career, if you move away from the “sitting drama”. Because although stress is a network phenomenon, it however, it is also a response that depends on autonomic physiology. He would say it depends on your personal resilience.
Scientists are adamant that people with low neuroticism, high conscientiousness and a strong internal control orientation are less likely to allow social influence on their stress levels.
Neurotics feel vulnerable, suffer from anxiety, are often in a bad mood. The opposite – people who are more confident are less susceptible to influence. They are even willing to suffer rejection – ie. to hold on to their own assessment of the situation even when it does not match that of the majority.
Your colleague Lily is probably neurotic and won’t change unless she realizes it and shows will. It’s the easiest to move away purely spatially from her. But if you can’t, work on yourself to not let it infect you.
Conscientiousness is expressed in self-discipline, deliberation and planning, psychologists explain. Observe the dynamics of your colleagues’ feelings and your own, and then try to regulate them effectively based on this knowledge. You know that Lily usually dramatizes. Don’t get used to it and don’t get stressed out either.
And if it does happen to you, quickly look for a calm colleague, friend, relative, with whom you can talk and with their support, relieve the tension.
People with an internal control orientation have higher confidence in their own ability to assess situations, react more calmly, and this makes them less likely to give in to the reactions of others.
If you consciously develop your personal mental resilience, you will do much better both in your professional and personal life. There is usually at least one colleague at work who is a panicker. If there are more, the danger of a stress epidemic becomes great. You must learn to protect yourself.
—— Practical conclusions
Research shows that stressed people willingly connect with stressed colleagues because they think they will be better understood. However, they increase the influence of interpersonal emotional systems and end up in a vicious circle.
That’s why when you are most stressed, you should avoid interacting with others who are stressed. It is not very likely that the joint experience of negative feelings and the common consideration of problems will lead to something useful.
The practical takeaway is that if instead of sharing, “Oh, I’m stressed,” you consciously adopt a more positive and constructive attitude in conversations with colleagues, it will be better for both you and them.
Be very careful in what environment you find yourself in. Specialists in behavioral psychology warn that in larger collectives, a differentiation of groups of colleagues with high and low stress is noticeable. The division is formed once because of the tendency to contact one’s own kind, and a second time because of network amplification.
If you have become close to such colleagues, try to get away relatively quickly. Otherwise, you will imperceptibly begin to constantly succumb to chess and panic.
Data on stress in groups and its nature as a networked social phenomenon they also call into question the hitherto often recommended strategy of cohesion and empathy. It may turn out that this becomes not a management and reduction of stress in the team, but an amplification.
Does this mean you don’t sympathize with coworker Lily? It means being empathetic and trying to help her when she really has a problem and needs support. If she’s in constant drama, mostly made up and overexposed, you run the risk of giving in and rising to her stress levels rather than her going down to yours.
It is essential to take care of your well-being. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary to maintain your mental, emotional and physical well-being, experts emphasize. And it would be more beneficial for your colleague to get professional help from a psychotherapist.
Constant stress leads to burnout. “Burnout is chronic exhaustion. It’s really a matter of resilience. But expending more energy than you can restore is like cutting down more trees than you plant – you’ll lose the forest,” vividly explains Lyudmila Praslova, professor of organizational psychology at the university Vanguard in Southern California.
In “The Right Man” you can read more:
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When the boss has a prejudice against you – concrete steps to invalidate it
The sacred cows of service and how to honor them to advance your career
In a job interview, don’t brag about your accomplishments. Defeat fears
5 Signs of Excessive Team Drama That Eats Productivity, Nerves, and Success
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What is a functional psychopath and how to deal with one as a colleague
12 signs that you are destined for success
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How to behave and be successful with a boss manager and how with a boss leader