A woman lost nearly 100 tūkst. euros in a romantic scam that spanned seven years, beginning in 2018. Despite repeated warnings from her bank, she continued sending funds to a man she never met in person, who claimed to be living in Africa and facing various legal and financial crises.
The financial loss was the result of a long-term emotional manipulation. Starting in 2018, the victim engaged in a relationship characterized by frequent messaging and video calls every few months, but no physical meetings. Over the course of seven years, she transferred almost all of her life savings to a man she believed she loved, according to reports from Pamarys and 15min.lt.
The Africa Narrative: Shifting Stories and Financial Demands
The scammer constructed a persona based on a life in Africa, claiming he had previously worked on a ship. To justify his need for money, he presented a series of evolving crises. Initially, he claimed his documents had been stolen, which led to his imprisonment. Later, the story shifted; he alleged the documents were not stolen but were being held by a lawyer who could help him escape prison, provided he paid a debt to that lawyer.
The victim’s transfers were not limited to legal fees. Funds were sent for document processing, release from prison, and even payments to a child’s teacher. While the specific details of these stories changed over time, the demand for money remained constant.
Bank Interventions and the Psychology of Emotional Attachment
Financial institutions attempted to intervene as the payments flowed. The woman’s bank identified suspicious transactions and repeatedly warned her about the signs of romantic fraud. However, the victim thanked the bank for its concern but ignored the warnings, continuing the transfers because she believed she was helping her partner.
This resistance to warnings is a known trait of such scams. Daiva Uosytė, head of the Prevention Department at SEB bank, explains that victims are not just losing money, but are invested in years of emotional support and shared experiences. When faced with the possibility that the other person does not exist, victims often doubt the warning to protect their own lived experience of the past several years.
In such cases, not only money is lost. Victims of romantic fraud have often invested several years in such relationships. They share their experiences, receive emotional support, and therefore become strongly attached to a person they have actually never met. Daiva Uosytė, Head of Prevention Department at SEB bank
Corporate Risks and the Evolution of Scammer Tactics
The risk extends beyond personal savings. SEB bank notes that some victims are financial professionals or accountants with access to employer or client e-banking systems. In these instances, scammers may manipulate these employees into transferring company funds, often promising that the transfer is only temporary—for a weekend, for example—and will go unnoticed.
The methods used by these fraudsters are also accelerating. Previously, scammers spent several months building an emotional bond and avoided discussing feelings or a shared future until later. Now, they often express strong romantic feelings and promise a future together within a few weeks or months to gain trust and extract money more quickly.
Financial Aftermath and Recovery Challenges
The total loss in this specific case reached nearly 100 tūkst. euros, but the damage can be deeper. Beyond the loss of savings, some victims sell real estate or take loans from relatives and financial institutions, leaving them with significant debt.
Recovering these funds is typically difficult. Payments are often old, and the recipient accounts are usually empty by the time the fraud is recognized. Furthermore, many victims do not report the crimes to authorities due to a sense of shame and a lack of hope that the money can be retrieved.
Identifying Red Flags in Online Relationships
Based on SEB bank’s observations and expert experience, there are specific warning signs that indicate a romantic scam. A primary red flag is a person who has never been met in person but quickly begins discussing intense feelings and a shared future.
- Constant excuses for why an in-person meeting must be postponed.
- Recurring extraordinary situations, such as stories of being detained, stolen documents, blocked accounts, illnesses, or legal troubles.
- Contradictory details in their narrative that change over time.
- Isolation tactics, where the scammer suggests the victim is the only person capable of helping them.
Reporting these incidents remains critical for law enforcement and financial institutions. Because scammers often maintain relationships with multiple victims simultaneously, understanding their tactics is the primary way to stop them and protect others from similar losses.
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