It is part of life, yet for most people the death of a loved one is a very hard time to assume and manage in which several stages are also crossed in a kind of roller coaster where all kinds of feelings surface.
According to Andrea wants MGC Mutua psychologist, “a situation like this is characterized by an initial period of bewilderment, of disbelief, in which we have not fully assimilated that our loved one is no longer there because they have died after a serious illness or an accident or any other situation, which gives way to a series of feelings where sadness, anger, longing and hopelessness are mixed, in which, on many occasions, a feeling of helplessness prevails”.
And he adds, “there are people capable of managing grief well, but the vast majority isolate themselves, withdraw and dangerously tend to fall into a severe depressive state.”
The specialist addresses the different phases that family members go through when grieving a loved one, ranging from denial “in which there is a rejection of the situation in such a way that we deny the event and avoid facing reality”, passing by anger at the harsh reality that is stubborn and prevails, provoking anger at the situation that has occurred, as well as get to sadness in which reality prevails again, until reaching acceptance “phase in which we finally understand the irreversibility of the event and that makes us look up and move forward.”
But how can we help ourselves to best manage this inevitable grieving process? The psychologist offers a series of tips that can help anyone who is going through this difficult situation:
– Accept what happened: “Saying goodbye as one feels more comfortable will make our mind accept what has just happened and that is where the new reality begins to be built. Overcoming grief does not mean forgetting, but living with that memory through well-being. It is there, and the most sensible thing to do is to accept it, no matter how much it costs, because the mind ends up supporting the new reality”.
– Lean on family and friends and talk about your own feelings: “It will help us feel emotionally accompanied. Talking about your own feelings will always be a way to alleviate the situation. It is important to let them share what you think and feel, turning out to be an invaluable help”.
– Do not close in on yourself: “Since if we do not surround ourselves with close people it can become a pathological duel.”
– Remember the good moments past: “Another fundamental aspect is to remember the good moments spent with that loved one, trying to erase the bad memories produced when they died, especially due to the shock caused by an unexpected death.”
– Go to one specialist when necessary: ”A professional can help us plan the next steps and understand the time we need for each phase, since it can sometimes be overwhelming in the first few days.”